JUST BECAUSE I AM A MEAN, HORRIBLE PERSON I WILL HEREBY GIVE AWAY THE ENDING OF THE NEW STAR WARS MOVIE JUST TO BE A JERK. I KNOW THAT YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO RESIST READING IT!!! BHWAAAAH, HAA, HAA, HAAAAAAA!!!

The ending is this: Luke Sky Walker wakes up and he is back in his bed at his Uncle Ben’s farm in the desert on Tatooine. He has just had the most incredible nightmare. It […]

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The Perfect Gift

Do you know someone with kids? Do you despise them more than Leo DiCaprio hates bears? Why not get them the perfect gift?

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Unicorn Bites 6/11/14

Productivity, meet Netflix. Netflix, meet- Netflix, put down that knife! Run, productivity! Run! Netflix, you killed it! Why? Oh why? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2014 Doctor: Questions? Me: How do I know if […]

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Unicorn Bites 1/14/14

It’s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your shit together, every other vegetable. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2014   Me: I’m one card away from […]

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No Actors were used in the filming of this.

I have this massively inflated opinion of myself. In my head, I’m the ruler of 17 Eastern European countries, I print my own money and am never wrong. In reality, I am only the ruler […]

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