Stop the Snow
I hate winter. Well, only if I have to go out in it, or pay for heating the house, or if it’s winter. Otherwise I don’t mind. Anyway, parody songs are only good if you’re […]
I hate winter. Well, only if I have to go out in it, or pay for heating the house, or if it’s winter. Otherwise I don’t mind. Anyway, parody songs are only good if you’re […]
Professor: Which dynasty came after the Ming Dynasty? Me: Professor: Me: Duck? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 2, 2014 Wife: You didn’t do anything today. Me: I quit smoking. Wife: You never smoked. Me: OK. […]
Me: Don’t drink soap! 4-year-old: But I want to fart bubbles. Who am I to stifle her dreams? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 5, 2014 4-year-old: Why’s he holding up his thumb? Me: He’s hitchhiking […]
My 4-year-old threw a temper tantrum because I can’t give her snow powers like Elsa in “Frozen.” There’s no end to my failings as a father. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 7, 2014 4-year-old daughter: […]