The High Wire Act of Life

When I’m not Netflixing and chilling with my bae, I’m staying on fleek while getting turnt at my favorite drinking establishment with my mains, because, after all, YOLO. Am I right? And it’s pretty remarkable I do all that shit considering I come from a generation conceived and born way … Continue reading

Unicorn Bites #589

4-year-old: Can you do what you want at work? Me: No, I have to listen to my boss. 4: Mom is at your work? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 13, 2015 Anyone who puts in a USB cable the right way on the first try should be burned as a witch. — Exploding Unicorn … Continue reading

Unicorn Bites #578

Professor: Which dynasty came after the Ming Dynasty? Me: Professor: Me: Duck? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 2, 2014 Wife: You didn’t do anything today. Me: I quit smoking. Wife: You never smoked. Me: OK. I continued not smoking. Wife: Hurray for me. — Exploding … Continue reading

To Kill A Spider?

I was sitting in the hospital lounge waiting for my neighbor’s colonoscopy to be done.  For the record, she asked me to go; I don’t crash colonoscopies.  Anyway, I was forced to watch The View as that was the show blaring on the big screen TV.   I must admit they had the most intriguing … Continue reading