The Quack Quarterback


Phil Robertson has made some controversial statements in last few weeks, some of them in the fashion magazine – GQ.I find many of his statements to be offensive and possibly, bald face lies. Although, in Phil’s case, hardly anything about him is bald face, so we’ll change that to hairy face lies.

This statement, referring to his time as quarterback at Louisiana Tech: “I was good enough to keep the guy behind me, Terry Bradshaw, from getting on the field,” I find to be a little offensive.

Not by itself, but when you add “A former teammate told me to walk on with Washington Redskins, that I could make it in the NFL,” you have to add that both Mr. Brunet (the Washington player) and Robertson were quackers. Come on, Phil, famous duck call millionaire and reality show star, do you REALLY think the NFL was begging for quarterbacks who completed 179 out of 411 passes (44 %) or threw 12 TD passes in three years? Even if you concede LA Tech was more of a running team than a passing team you have to account for 34 interceptions. That’s one interception for every five receptions! Are we to believe the NFL was dying to find quarterbacks who can get you a first down, maybe two, then throw it to the other team? What about your 302 yard game, the one you brag about? Was that enough to get you into the league? We think no, because what that really means is you averaged 72 ypg for your 27 other games. Not exactly NFL worthy stats.

Phil, you yourself admit you were more into squirrel and duck hunting than playing football. How many other football players got up at 4:30 in the morning to get your ducks before going into practice? I’m guessing, although you won’t admit it, that if you played a night game you were sleepy before the fourth quarter. Think about it, did you ever go back into the pocket, see a duck flying overhead and end up tossing your pass really, really high? We know you had zip on the ball, you weren’t throwing any Tim Tebow flutter balls (wounded ducks, some people like to call them) but how does one account for only getting 2237 yards in three years of college ball. That’s half a season for Johnny Manziel.

I know you have an excuse. I read it as “A lot of the receivers would decide they were gonna change their mind, go somewhere else. Or they looked around and the ball was within three feet of them. They didn’t have the reaction time to catch the doggone thing.” You know what we call that, Phil? – deflecting responsibility. You’re blaming the receivers and a lot of these guys were the same guys that helped Terry Bradshaw become the number one pick in the draft. You blame linemen for not buying you enough time but many were the same linemen Terry had. And Terry didn’t go 8-20 like you did, he won almost all his games. Before you rationalize how great you were by blaming others, buy yourself a mirror. Are you afraid the bearded quacker looking back at you might have to admit you’re wrong about a few things?
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I know you took some heat for your GQ interview. By the way, Phil, GQ stands for Gentlemen’s Quarterly, not Geriatric Quarterbacks. It’s a fashion magazine. Think about it. I don’t blame A & E for firing you, because, even with your Master’s degree in English, if you can’t figure out the one place you need not to be making disparaging remarks about gays is in a FASHION magazine, you might not be right to star on an ARTS and ENTERTAINMENT network.

I know they hired you back. Lots of folks appear to like you country clubbers faking it as a gang of bearded outdoorsmen. That’s an acceptable hairy faced lie. Telling people you were good enough to play in the NFL is downright offensive… to football fans.

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