My 4-year-old threw a temper tantrum because I can’t give her snow powers like Elsa in “Frozen.” There’s no end to my failings as a father.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 7, 2014
4-year-old daughter: You’re the best. Me: Thanks. 4: Except when you’re a boy. Me: I’m always a boy. 4: Oh. Never mind.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 7, 2014
In case you wondered how much patience I have for questions today, I just told my 4-year-old the sky is blue because I said so.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 7, 2014
4-year-old daughter: I’m never taking a bath again! Me: Why? 4: Girls like to be stinky. At least I won’t have to worry about her dating.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 7, 2014
2-year-old: I can feed the baby! Me: OK 2: *takes bottle* *moves it toward baby* *edges it closer* *edges it closer* *jabs baby’s eye*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 7, 2014
If your daughter never wants to bathe, don’t worry about putting money away for college or a wedding or anything. You have it made in the shade. Althought I recommend separate living quarters