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Tag: baby
I don’t wanna hold your baby
Your baby might be real cute, but I don’t wanna hold it. It’s not personal. When I got a new car, I didn’t ask people if they wanted to drive it. When I got my […]
Sherman Child Born, Declares Self the “Best Baby Ever”
Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman and girlfriend Ashley Moss welcomed their young son Rayden into the world Thursday morning, who promptly intercepted an attempted slap to his backside, shouting, “I’m the best baby in the […]
Unicorn Bites #555
Me: Time to get out of bed. 4-year-old: Why? At the end of the day, I’ll just get back in it. Me: 4: Me: *goes back to bed* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 9, 2014 […]
The love of a child.
Love is all you need. Love is a battlefield. Love is in the air but what happens when you reach the very pinnacle of love? It’s a rare day when Bill Y does not share […]
Unicorn Bites 9/18/14
I don’t need some metrosexual fashion magazine to tell me how to dress. I’m a real man. My wife dresses me. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 18, 2014 Telemarketer: Am I speaking to the man […]
Unicorn Bites 9/8/14
My mom: Stop making that stupid face. Me: This is my regular face. Mom: Me: Mom: Stop sitting where people can see you. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 8, 2014 4-year-old: The baby woke up […]
Unicorn Bites 9/7/14
I took my 4-year-old to a museum. Her favorite part was the sliding door at the entrance. Next time I’ll just take her to the grocery store. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 7, 2014 4-year-old: […]