Unicorn Bites #555
Me: Time to get out of bed. 4-year-old: Why? At the end of the day, I’ll just get back in it. Me: 4: Me: *goes back to bed* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 9, 2014 […]
Tag: Phone
On the subject of birthday presents.
72 beers walked into a bar. They immediately made friends with the clientele. One audience member was our very own Thirsty Dave and I happened to be conversing with him on the subject of birthday […]
Man Scrubs Hands For Five Minutes Before Holding Fecally Tainted Phone to Face
Local businessman Michael Peters, ever cognizant of good hygiene, spent a solid 5 minutes washing his hands right after lunch on Wednesday. “My mother instilled a healthy fear of microorganisms in me at an early […]
Love Messages To My Husband….Sort Of
My husband never listens to voicemails from me. I find this strange because if I got voicemail from me, I would listen immediately. In fact, I might actually ignore the call from me just so […]
Dear Auto-Correct,
Dear Auto-Correct, I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to let you know the way the kids are doing it these days. I’m going to write it on the interwebs. No, […]
When Unexpected Guests Come Calling
One afternoon, a neighbor met us at the mailbox as we picked up our mail before going into our house. There had been a lot of excitement in our neighborhood when a police car, a […]