Are You A Restaurant Dick?
Are you a restaurant dick? Do you make other diners so miserable that they wish they were at the dentist instead? Take this test and find out. Do you: 1) Yell at the waitress? (1 […]
Tag: Wi-Fi
On the subject of birthday presents.
72 beers walked into a bar. They immediately made friends with the clientele. One audience member was our very own Thirsty Dave and I happened to be conversing with him on the subject of birthday […]
Unicorn Bites 3/29/14
Clerk: How many balloons do you need? Me: Enough to lift my house. Clerk: Pixar movies aren’t real life. Me: SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH! — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 29, 2014 I have 2 little […]
Life is all about priorities.
My life probably won’t be made into a sitcom and I’ll probably never be as well known as water, extractor fans or the fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris but that says more about […]
Unicorn Bites 8/27/13
Me: “Sex tonight?” My wife: “I guess.” I’m pumped. That’s the most enthusiastic about it she’s been in years. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 27, 2013 I liked you, but then I realized […]
Panera Bread: My Port in the Storm
Three months ago, I got a Panera Bread card, which if used properly according to the lady at the Panera cash register who gave it to me, would yield me free goodies and discounts at […]