Donald Trump’s Latest Five-Day Weather Forecast
Welcome back to Fox News. In a moment, we’ll get to our top story – why 97% of Americans think Donald Trump is a better president than Abraham Lincoln, according to a recent Fox poll […]
Tag: hurricanes
Linemen Are Always Wired Up
I heard a noise this summer and looked around the corner to find a truck parked in my back yard. A lot of the utility workers from around here are down in the southeast right […]
Winning the Battle of Britain With Cinnamon Rolls
Swedish Dessert CINNAMON ROLLS (Kanelbullar) INGREDIENTS – DOUGH ⅔ cup butter (⅓ cup more later) 1½ cups milk 1 egg (1 egg more later) 2 teaspoons cardamom ¾ teaspoon salt ½ cup sugar (⅓ cup […]
Donald Trump: Chess Master
Sources report that while hurricanes were ravaging Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands, President Trump spent the time in seclusion, deeply immersed in study of the chess strategies of famous champions such as Mikhail Tal, […]
A Letter to Hurricane Jose
Dear Jose: May I call you Jose? Thank you for staying mostly out to sea and only sending us some relatively wimpy wind and rain. Your cousins Harvey and Irma leveled east Texas, a good […]
Dear Hermine
We are flattered that you want to visit our city. However, we would be grateful to you if you would behave like a good tourist. When your cousin Sandy came around here several years ago, […]
How going to my book signings may prevent bad weather
In my latest book signing announcement, I included this: My last book signing of the year, and probably the winter, is this Saturday, and I’d like everyone to attend. Everyone in the world. Yep, […]
Reporting Live from Hurricane Edna!
NNN Announcer: NNN’s Never Ending News Network continues with its award winning, trademark pending, never ending coverage of Hurricane Edna. Anchorwoman Lindsay Brockport is here to bring us the latest update. Anchorwoman Lindsay Brockport: Welcome […]
Panera Bread: My Port in the Storm
Three months ago, I got a Panera Bread card, which if used properly according to the lady at the Panera cash register who gave it to me, would yield me free goodies and discounts at […]