Unicorn Bites 4/1/14

I don’t recycle because if I set aside all my empty bottles and cans I’d have to admit I’m an alcoholic. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 1, 2014 I’ve been drinking coffee for so long […]

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Unicorn Bites 8/27/13

Me: “Sex tonight?” My wife: “I guess.” I’m pumped. That’s the most enthusiastic about it she’s been in years. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 27, 2013 I liked you, but then I realized […]

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