A group of lions is called a pride. A group of crows is called a murder. A group of NASCAR fans is called a trailer park.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 1, 2014
We’d have this Ebola thing cured by now if more people clicked “like” on those inspirational Facebook posts.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 1, 2014
4-year-old: How much Halloween candy can I eat? Me: One piece. 4: Mom isn’t home. Me: All of it.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 1, 2014
Me: *answers door* Salesman: Can I talk to the man of the house? 2-year-old daughter: That’s me! The sad part is she’s right.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 2, 2014
4-year-old: What’s that? Me: A special file where I keep all your artwork. 4: Me: *closes recycling bin*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 1, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyr8D7T 4/8/14: pic.twitter.com/AEcg5pdyk7
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) September 24, 2014