Unicorn Bites #558
I asked my 4-year-old to draw a chicken. She drew four nuggets and a bottle of ketchup. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 12, 2014 Me: I did the dishes. Wife: You put one cup in […]
Tag: ketchup
Unicorn Bites #519
Me: Don’t drink soap! 4-year-old: But I want to fart bubbles. Who am I to stifle her dreams? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 5, 2014 4-year-old: Why’s he holding up his thumb? Me: He’s hitchhiking […]
Sailor’s Beef and When Lice Picked Mayors
Swedish Entree SAILOR’S BEEF (sjömansbiff) INGREDIENTS 1¼ pounds round steak (½” thick or 8 slices) 2 yellow onions 1½ pounds brown potatoes 1½ tablespoons butter (1½ tablespoons more later) ½ teaspoon pepper ¾ teaspoon salt […]
Tuna Melt and How the Cheeseburger Won World War II
American Entree TUNA MELT INGREDIENTS 2 5-ounce cans albacore tuna 1/3 cup mayonnaise 1/4 cup diced celery 2, tablespoons minced yellow, brown, or red onon 1 teaspoon dill weed 1/8,teaspoon pepper 1/4 teaspoon salt 2/3 […]
Tex Mex T Rex
Cretaceous Entree TEX MEX T REX INGREDIENTS 1 medium tyrannosaurus rex 300 garlic cloves 1,500 medium yellow onions 2,999 jars (18 ounces) barbecue sauce 1 15 ounce bottle organic ketchup 200 pounds chili powder 100 […]
Personal Hygiene Products – Men and Women
They don’t call me MacGyver and that’s because I’m not good with my hands. Give me a glove and I’ll know what to do with it but ask me to fix the flux capacitor and […]
Unicorn Bites 4/16/14
When a woman says, “I hope we can still be friends,” what she means is “If I see you on the sidewalk, I’ll hit you with my car.” — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 16, 2014 […]
Australian Meat Pie and Curly Howard
Australian Entree MEAT PIE INGREDIENTS – FILLING 2 pounds chuck or round steak 2 onions 2 tablespoons olive oil ½ teaspoon nutmeg ½ teaspoon pepper 1/4 teaspoon salt (1/4 teaspoon more later) 1/4 teaspoon thyme […]
Kirk Cameron, Homosexuality, Gay Marriage & Veal
Recently, Kirk Cameron said he thinks homosexuality is unnatural. I have to admit this came as quite a surprise. Despite appearances to the contrary, I honestly thought all of the Seaver kids—and not just Carol—were […]