While browsing through magazines at Barnes & Noble recently, I came across this little gem:
Yes. That’s right. Fifty Shades of Grey: the magazine. The world has come to this.
I suppose it makes sense since the book is called “mommy porn,” and mommies mostly read magazines. However, this is one magazine I don’t think you want to walk in on when your mom’s reading it. Good Housekeeping, this ain’t.
From an editorial perspective, while I applaud the fact that this magazine is providing work for writers, I’m just wondering how they’re going to keep up with stories and articles on a monthly basis. I’m expecting a future headling to be: “Yep! We’re all still reading it!” Also, regarding the headlines in the first issue, “Naughty book clubs”? How does that work without becoming an orgy?
Guys! Wake up! Your women are not satisfied and do not feel enough love from you if they need to read this crap! Remember how you felt when you were dating? Remember how incredible she was? She still IS that incredible! Do you tell her you love her every day, in a non-robotic way? Do you show it? Do you give her a foot massage, without her having to ask you for one? Are you putting her number one in your life? Above your job? Above your fantasy football league? Are you still romantic with her? Are you able to give up an entire Sunday of football to do something special with her? When was the last time you kissed her passionately? Do you remember the year? Of course not! Because YOU are a lazy bastard! YOU take her for granted! Snap out of it! Do you hear me? You need to make some drastic changes NOW MISTER! For starters, kiss her. Do it. And again. And again. DO IT! Now give her a foot massage! Now cook her a great dinner, something that doesn’t come in a package. Wash your hands first you idiot! You disgust me. Things have got to change now…I’m serious. Otherwise, you know what? She’ll end up having an affair with your extremely-tanned and good-looking gardener, Enrique. OR, she’ll sign up for a subscription to that pathetic magazine. Either way, by then, you’re done.
If there is any man around willing to do all this, I would like to put in my bid. The line forms after me, but someone else can have him ONLY if I die first.
Kathy, you’re hilarious.
It’s oficial. women have lost their minds. A trilogy was not enough!?
According to the mag, a fourth book is coming! Nooooo!
Oh my GOD. I wonder if they’re hiring writers!! I’ve definitely lived the life…