My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I’m dead.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 14, 2013
The Romans distracted the masses w/ bread & circuses, but we’re smarter than that now. We won’t settle for less than cheap beer & free Wi-Fi
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 14, 2013
I hated being alone until I realized the alternative was being around people. Now I’m digging a moat.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 14, 2013
I’m glad Boy Scouts finally stopped discriminating. It didn’t make sense to ban gay scouts while also requiring guys to wear neckerchiefs.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 14, 2013
Purposely making your car loud doesn’t make you cool. It just makes everyone think you’re too poor to afford a muffler.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 14, 2013
Yes, I hate when people poke you with a stick to make sure you’re breathing. I find it happening more and more. No one has manners anymore. I like the moat idea. It has a lot of merit!
If the moat is deep enough, no one can poke you, no matter how dead you look.