Various Responses to Margaret Atwood’s “A Voice is a Human Gift” | HumorOutcasts

Various Responses to Margaret Atwood’s “A Voice is a Human Gift”

October 31, 2017
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“A voice is a human gift; it should be cherished and used, to utter fully human speech as possible. Powerlessness and silence go together.” – Margaret Atwood ___________________________________________________________________________________________

Bumper sticker available at the Misophonia support group website:

“A voice is a human gift, but silence is a gift from God.”

+++++++++++++

Man and woman in bed:

Woman: Well, Margaret Atwood says “a voice is a human gift.”

Man: Well, I ask: Does that make my tongue the bow?

++++++++++++++

Exhausted dad who’s ear has been talked off by a loud and verbose child:

Mom: Relax, honey. Don’t forget that Margaret Atwood said “a Voice is a human gift.”

Dad: I wish it came with a gift receipt.

+++++++++++++++

After Fran Drescher auditioned for the role in The Nanny:

Snarky Casting Agent: Good lord! That voice!

More Charitable Casting Agent: Don’t forget: Some consider “a voice a human gift.”

Snarky Casting Agent: In this case a white elephant gift.

+++++++++++++++

James Earl Jones upon hearing it for the first time while watching TV alone in his living room:

“And a money-maker. Ka-ching! ‘This is CNN.’ [Looking around] Somebody pay me now.”

+++++++++++++++

Anonymous blogger after reviewing the number of visitors to her blog:

“Nobody seems to want my gift.”

+++++++++++++++

Terry Wellman after being read the quote from Real Simple by his wife:

Terry: Yeah, she can say that. She was not cursed with a uni-sex name and a uni-sex voice. If I hear “Please drive through, ma’am” one more time, I’m going to drive the car through the !@#$%^*!@#$ front door of the @#$%^&^%$# restaurant.”

His Wife: Terry! Watch your language! The boys are in the back.

Terry: [Craning his head toward the back seat to address the boys] Sorry, boys. I was just giving you an early 21st birthday gift.

Oldest Son to Youngest Son: We better not re-gift that one.

Terry Wellman

Texas-born, Terry now lives in Orange County, CA, where he is on a first name basis with Harry Hamlin’s eyebrows, which often babysit his two sons. When not working as a much sought after hand and foot model, Terry is working on his memoirs from his time as landscaper to the stars, “You’ll Never Mow and Blow in this Town Again.”

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3 Responses to Various Responses to Margaret Atwood’s “A Voice is a Human Gift”

  1. October 31, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    Love the Fran Dresher reference. She is not a melodic tone.

  2. October 31, 2017 at 12:22 pm

    You nailed that last line.

    • Terry
      October 31, 2017 at 2:19 pm

      Thank you, Roz!



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