“Yeah, well your mom has a sex tape.”—the comeback that will prevent North West from ever winning an argument
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2013
You’ve got some good qualities. I’ve never seen them, but they must be there or your awful personality would’ve gotten you murdered by now.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2013
Hats off to you, ladies, for being brave. The penis is an ugly organ. If I were in your place, I wouldn’t let that thing inside of me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2013
Interviewer: “What’s your greatest weakness?”
Me: “I work too hard.”
Him:
Me: “It’s a 3-way tie for alcohol, drugs & hookers.”
Nailed it
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2013
I killed a spider all by myself, and I only whimpered a little. That feeling you’re experiencing is uncontrollable lust. Come at me, ladies.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2013