Hey! Let’s Play the Lottery!!

I know that this makes me sound grumpy and whiny.  However, sometimes I just LIKE to be grumpy and whiny vs. being snarky.

I’m thirsty, I want to get home, I just need a quick drink.  So I pull into a “convenience” store where beef jerky, Vienna finger cookies and PowerAde are more expensive than they SHOULD be but I am supposed to be able to CONVENIENTLY walk in, purchase what I want and leave.

But wait!!!!  Someone wants to play the lottery.  And not just a quick-pick.  It seems that they have had some dreams that equate to some numbers and then they saw a number on a billboard on the way there that made them think of their high school graduation date, but they’re not sure that number is dead on, so they box it and then ask for the number plus one and the number minus 1.  But wait!!!  What are those little cool valentine thingies?  Oh, they’re scratch offs?  They’re cute!  How much are they?  Give me 5, oh wait, I want to play 1 more number so only give me 4 valentine thingies.  Are the Valentine lottery scratch off thingies half off like the valentine candy?  Oh, shoot!  I never played these before…. how many do I scratch off.. how do I win?

But wait on MORE time!!!!! There’s only 1 person working at the counter!!!  So the rest of us who want a newspaper or a 99-cent Arizona Tea and have the correct change must wait while this person goes through their lottery algorithms.

By the way, I get the whole lottery thing.  Like a lot of people… I’m on the “401K-Powerball” retirement plan.. which means you don’t believe a $30 million dollar jackpot is worth a buck but, once it gets over $100 million, you’re looking for lottery-pool partners at work!!!

Not sure who to blame here… the person that thinks they own the counter-time as if they are picking out perfume at Macy’s for a new girlfriend whom they met 3 days ago or the Management of the NOT-SO-CONVENIENT-CONVENIENCE-STORE who puts only one person on duty during rush hour!!!

Either way, Louie Lottery, the fact that you saw a camel does NOT mean that 4-5-8 is going to hit on the lottery tonight OR any other combination of those three integers.

And Counter-Guy, (who’s face we shadowed in the above pic), when there are 8 people that want 1 item or to pay for gas, and you KNOW Louis-Lottery-Numbers-Picking-Guy, who is used to putting on his underwear correctly ONLY by knowing that the yellow stains go in the front and the brown stains go in the back, wants to spend time picking numbers, MOVE THE OTHER PEOPLE THROUGH THE LINE FIRST!!!

All that I know is, I would like my stop at the CONVENIENCE STORE to be, um…. CONVENIENT, Ya Jagoffs!

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6 thoughts on “Hey! Let’s Play the Lottery!!”

  1. If you ever get into politics, campaign to end this nightmare and you can right your own ticket!

  2. OH my gosh. I think we’ve all ended up behind these people. It just kills me. They stand there and scratch the tickets and turn them in as they win with a big ass line behind them. I die a little inside each time this happens.

  3. I have to say I am very conscious of this as well. I only play $1 in the Cash FIVE PA which I plan on winning very soon. But I hate when I want one ticket and the person in front is buying $200 worth and doing boxes and all this stuff. I like this rant!!

  4. Hmm… I recognize this. Last stop at the local inconvenience for a bag of ice, I ended up purchasing Walter Wallaye scratch offs — just to get to the front of the line.

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