Me: *gets in pool* Come on in.
4-year-old: No, there might be sharks.
Me:
4:
Me:
4:
Me: *gets out of pool*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 5, 2014
4-year-old: Why is it called a piggyback ride?
Me: I don’t know.
4: Is it because you’re fat?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 5, 2014
Based on the screams coming from the bathroom, my wife is either brutally murdering our 2-year-old daughter or gently brushing her hair.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 5, 2014
I overheard my 2-year-old daughter tell a little boy, "My daddy is crazy."
I hope they both remember that when they're old enough to date.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 5, 2014
My 2-year-old occasionally has short pauses between temper tantrums. They’re called naps.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 5, 2014