CUBAN-JORDAN BETROTHAL INTERRUPTED
I can’t decide whether the Mark Cuban wooing of Deandre Jordan and the subsequent rejection is more Casablancish or more Runaway Bride-ish. I know the music has to be very Luther Vandrossish or at least Michael Boltonish. Shall we?
Scene: Mark Cuban is standing behind the bar at his Marky’s Cuban Café talking to Chandler Parsons about his new flame – DeAndre.
Parsons: Boss? Boss? Ain’t you going to bed. Aren’t you ever going to bed?
Cuban: No, I’m not. Of all the gin joints, shark tanks, and basketball clubs in the world, she has to walk into mine. Play it, Chandler.
Parsons: No, boss. Let’s get out of here. We can drive, boss.
Cuban: She was perfect, Chandler. She was big, could run the floor, protect the rim. Why did she get cold feet?
Parsons: I told you we could drive, Boss. I know where her house is. A gal like DeAndre doesn’t come your way, everyday.
Cuban: Didn’t I tell you to play it? You can play it for her, you can play it for me.
Michael Bolton:
When a man loves a woman.Deep down in his soul… She can bring him such misery.
Cuban: What did you let Bolton in here for? I told you to play “As Time Goes By.”
Parsons: He just came in. He heard you were hurting. That’s what Bolton does.
Bolton: If she is playing him for a fool, he’s the last one to know. Loving eyes can never see.
Cuban: Get him out of here, Chandler. You said we could drive. The world is going to hell in a hand basket but if we need to drive to Houston…
Parsons: We can do it, Boss. We can get there before the fog rolls in. What should you tell her?
Bolton: When a man loves a woman, I give you everything I’ve got, trying to hold on to your precious love…
Cuban: What’s Bolton doing in the back seat? I thought I told you to get rid of him.
Parsons: Boss, I thought if we brought Michael along, it would show DeAndre how much we thought of her.
Cuban: Well, you’re wrong. Blake Griffin is probably over there offering DeAndre a KIA dealership. We need to hurry to Houston before she gets on that flight and I never see her again.
Parsons: Maybe you need to let her go, Boss. If we force her to stay and CPIII is not feeding her like she’s use to, she might regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday.
Bolton: When a man loves a woman, I know exactly how he feels, oh, baby… baby