Segment two of the long awaited Seinfeld Sequel!
Jerry and George are taking a bus.
George- So what is the deal with Elaine? You say she got out a little early for good behavior?
Jerry- It looks like it. At any rate, that is what her roommate on the phone said.
George- Roommate? Woman or guy?
Jerry- Woman.
George lights up- Hey Jerry, this could be ok! Maybe we can get a combo going here and make up for all the sex we lost being in jail!
Jerry laughs- Yeah, yeah George. That’s positive thinking! It would be nice having some sort of affair after being locked up with a bunch of grody guys for a year. I don’t know how interested Elaine would be though; we’ve already been through our fling.
George paused for a minute- Actually I meant Elaine for me and the roommate for you.
Jerry looks at George fesiciously- Oh, come now George! No offense but there was never any chemistry between you and her!
George looks hurt by this- Come on now Jerry! That was the old George, this is the new! More virile, more masculine.
Jerry- More nuts! How do you think to get any woman with that Nazi thing on your forehead? Unless of course it is Tokyo Rose!
George- Aw Jerry, don’t shoot me down with that talk! I think I could bowl her over.
Jerry- Alright, alright. Give it a go Cassanova! Maybe prison life has given her a taste for fascists!
George- I ain’t no fascist Jerry! This is just an intimidation factor for us Kapo’s.
Jerry- Yeah, well just keep your hat over it! We might just run into Captain America
somewhere. Hey, I think this is our stop!
They get out of the bus. The neighborhood is rather grungy.
Jerry- Her place is 7536 Aston. Ah, there it is!
It is a somewhat run down apartment house with odd people hanging around. They hesitantly go in.
Jerry rings the doorbell- Apartment 283- this is it.
Elaine’s voice answers- Yes, who is it?
Jerry- Elaine? It’s Jerry!
Elaine- Oh, Jerry! Come on up!
They go up to the third floor. It has a dingy interior. They find 283 and knock.
A tough looking woman answers. She scans them over severely.
Jerry- Um…. hi! I am Jerry and this is George. We’re friends of Elaine.
Woman- doesn’t answer right away.
Woman- Hey Elaine, your buddy pals are here!
Elaine from far away- OK! Let them in!
Woman- says to George- OK You go on in!
George goes on in. Woman blocks Jerry from going in.
Woman- OK bub, get one thing straight- no hanky panky with Elaine! She is mine now!
Jerry is shocked speechless. Jerry- Huh? What?
Woman- she jabs him in the chest meaningfully-No touchy, no smoochie! She is mine now!
Jerry (puzzled)- OK, ok! He goes in.
They enter the apartment that looks like it was furnished out of a Salvation Army store.
Everything has a used feel to it and is a bit chaotic.
Elaine’s voice comes from the bathroom- make yourselves at home guys! I’ll be out in a moment!
George and Jerry stand nervously not knowing what to do. The woman just looks at them critically.
Woman- Go ahead, take a seat.
Jerry moves some newspapers off a seat and sits. George picks up a bunch of fast food containers off a sofa, puts them on a table and sits down. There is an uncomfortable silence. The woman just looks at them silently.
Jerry- Um, I am Jerry Seinfeld, an old friend of Elaine’s.
Woman- I know.
Jerry is silenced by this. George goes to speak.
George, half stands offering her his hand to shake- Hi, I am …
Woman- You are George. (There is a pause) I know.
George- sits back down, his hand still extended and slowly pulls it back.
Jerry, still trying to be friendly- And who are you?
Woman- I am Xena, a very special friend of Elaine’s.
The boys are silent for a moment.
George starts to repeat “a very special friend” but Jerry nudges him hard and causes him not to finish his statement.
Elaine comes out. She has a punkish type hairdo heavy mascara on her eyes as though she is trying to look mysterious.
Elaine- Jerry! How great to see you! She goes to hug him but the woman moves quickly between them.
Elaine- Um, guys this is my girlfriend Xena.
Jerry- Agh, yeah! We just sort of met. Sort of…
Elaine- Aagh, guys Xena and I met in prison where she was my guard. She protected me from a lot of trouble.
George- I bet she did! Jerry nudges him hard again.
Jerry- Well, ah, Xena! It is really nice to meet you! Thank you for helping Elaine get through a tough period! It is nice that she had some help from the powers that be there.
Xena- You bet fella (she says in a not so friendly way.)
Elaine- Xena, these are the guys I used to hang out with before I got my sentencing.
Xena- Yeah, I can see we are going to need to talk about that later.
Elaine- (Elaine is taken a bit back by this comment) Ah…..yeah……Xena is always watching out for me!
Xena smiles at Elaine in a special way and gives her a meaningful kiss.
Elaine says lightly to Xena – Not now babe, please…..
Xena- again in an intimate way- OK sweetness, just for you!
Xena (looking straight at the ‘boys’) So you are the bozos that got her into trouble in the foist place, aren’t you.
Jerry- Um, well, I guess that could be seen that way.
George nudges Jerry hard.
Xena- Well I don’t want to see that happening again! She is mine now!
Elaine is clearly embarrassed by this.- Well guys, let’s all sit down and I’ll get us some snacks.
Jerry and George- Yeah, sounds good.
They all sit down uncomfortably.
George munches on something that Elaine sets down.
George (trying to be conversational)- You know, I was a lot like you. I was a kapo in my prison!
Xena stares at him for a moment before speaking: That ain’t the same thing! I am on the RIGHT side of the law! You wuz not! You wuz a CRIMINAL!!!
George is taken aback by this, then angered. He gets in her face.- I’ll have you know that I took pride in my job. I had to deal with tougher guys than you!
Xena- Oh ya baby? Go fur it!
George punches her and she him, then they get into a wrestling match with George pulling her hair. They end up wrestling on the floor. Elaine comes out.
Elaine- Oh no, not this again!
Jerry speaking quietly to Elaine- What say we head down to that coffeehouse on the corner and catch up on things?
Elaine- That sounds like a good idea!
They both sneak out as the other two continue fighting.
END
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Note- If you would like to read the third installment where the gang gets back together with Kramer leave a comment to that effect!