My Dog’s Hipper Than Your Dog

My dog’s hipper than your dog,
My dog’s hipper than yours–
My dog’s hipper ‘cause he wears a French beret
My dog’s hipper than yours.

My dog’s cooler than your dog,
My dog’s cooler than yours–
My dog’s cooler ‘cause he digs Charlie Parker
My dog’s cooler than yours.

My dog’s smarter than your dog,
My dog’s smarter than yours–
My dog’s smarter ‘cause he likes Jean-Luc Godard movies
My dog’s smarter than yours.

My dog’s edgier than your dog,
My dog’s edgier than yours–
My dog’s edgier ‘cause he makes dead cat jokes
My dog’s edgier than yours.

My dog’s deeper than your dog,
My dog’s deeper than yours–
My dog’s deeper because he doesn’t make stupid remarks about Mark Rothko paintings when we go to the Whitney Museum
My dog’s deeper than yours.