Greetings Fellow Vampirine!
I welcome you in the name of all that is unholy!
My illustrious cousins in the fine art of blood sampling, let me have your eyes and ears for just a few seconds. I know for many of you daylight is fast approaching and you are hesitant, but just let me have a few minutes of your precious time. It might be of advantage to your lustful pursuits.
My friends, do you have difficulties with your procuring of the elixir that you need to sustain you? The ripe blood that leaves the body through a rending of the flesh that shelters the precious fluid from the outside world? That same fluid that gives life to your eternally starved bodies that can no longer reproduce its own?
Suffer no more, my lieges, I have an answer for you! And it lies within your own mouth and not within the flesh that protects that most worthwhile of all liquids- human blood!
We all know the damnation of that endless thirst that cannot be easily satisfied, not easily attained and not easily found. We, the damned, suffer also the thirst of the damned! It is insatiable, but not impossible.
We here at Nosferatu have found the answer for so many is in the TYPE of desiring teeth you have and not in the victim’s throat.
Do you find that your lunch often successfully slips away just as you are making the plunge with your teeth? Do they slip even out of a firm grip? The problem might be you have the wrong type of teeth for this sort of work. Tell me friends, are you stuck with Bela Lugosi fangs? The type that are known as the Canine Teeth? If yes, then THERE IS YOUR PROBLEM!! This mistake has plagued so many modern day Vampires since the invention of the talkie motion pictures! Canine teeth are for dogs!!!!! They are meant for tearing throats, not milking them! What you need are genuine NOSFERATU TEETH!!! These are the first two upper teeth in the mouth that are known as the CENTRAL INCISORS! These are the mark of the TRUE Vampire, the TRUE descendant of the original Nosferatu!
Enough with this having to chase down a meal, exhausting yourself to only have them slip away because of slippery, poorly functioning teeth! Come into our implant clinic and get fitted with the sort of teeth that HOLD on to your prey before they wiggle away! Nosferatu fangs keep the victim in your hold and penetrate deep enough to get every yummy bit of that best of all red wines! No more having to chase and catch your lunch over and over again because of pointy teeth that are too shallow and are set too far back into the mouth. Get them on the first bite every time and hold them there while you dine on that precious elixir un-Divine!
Come in for free information and consultation. From now on make your first bite their last!
Special payment plans available for cash, credit or blood whether you own or somebody else’s. Tax and government fees apply.
Nosferatu School of Corrective Vampiric Implants,
Turn left at the last Mausoleum on the left,
Vladimir Strasse Graveyard, ,
Geister, Transylvania, Romania.
As if being a vampire wasn’t enough, without tomb to tomb salesmen.