Trump’s Troops Explain His ‘Word Salads’ As Being Special, Coded Messages To His Followers

There has been much ado about Predator Donald Trump’s constant confusing, disoriented messages that he emotes on many of his talks and interviews. Now his devotees are saying these are actually secret, coded messages to his masses that only they will be able to decipher. They are purposely intended so that his many enemies- lefty liberals, demonic democrats, radical reporters, infuriating intellectuals and other non-Maga-ite species of humans cannot interpret.

 

It has now been uncovered that Trump troopers have clandestinely provided his many minions with special decoder rings that they get via mail, UPS or colorful cereal boxes which they can use to understand his messages or what he is trying to get across. As Donald himself put it- “Too many people think I am getting dementia like Sleepy Joe Biden did, but really it is just my superior intellect coming up with brilliant new ideas like I have done in the past like hiring kids with no real world experience to go through sensitive Government documents that contain important information in them and allowing people to work in various governmental offices without proper security clearances. Also the cutting of services and governmental aids to the working class and what is left of the American middle class so that the wealthier segment of this country can enjoy unbridled access to making money and not having to pay taxes on it the same way that I don’t.”

 

Various news agencies have hired code breakers to examine Donald’s word salads and see if they can decipher them. So far they have come up with the following (these are all ACTUAL quotes from the mouth of our feckless Leader exactly as he stated them):

 

“Christians and more, think of this, more than twice as likely foster care, they’ll adopt the general population,” The translated meaning of this is “We will change everyone in America to being a Trump form of ‘Christian’ (ie.- “unquestionably obedient”).

 

“Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen. But with Tylenol, don’t take it. Don’t take it!” This is to mean “Don’t take Tylenol because liberals own the company, but go ahead and drink the specially made Kool-Aid at our MAGA festivities!”

 

“Groceries went through the roof and I campaigned on that. I talked about the word ‘groceries’ for a lot.” and “The word ‘grocery,’ it’s a sort of simple word,” he said in October. “But it sort of means, like, everything you eat. The stomach is speaking, it always does.” These messages have been deciphered to mean “getting the extra perks from billionaires that only my people get for readjusting laws to lessen governmental control on their industries.”

 

While attempting to introduce Republican Dan Mueser who was not present, The Don stated: “Oh, they’re in Washington working on our next bill? Good!” Trump replied. “Now I don’t have to mention their names, although they’re watching on television, I guarantee.” Re-interpreted this apparently means “While I have everyone’s attention on me pass a bunch of bills to sign before the Dems find out about it!”

 

This he stated while talking about child care:

“But, when you talk about those numbers compared to the kind of numbers that I’m talking about by . . . taxing foreign nations at levels that they’re not used to, but they’ll get used to it very quickly, and it’s not going to stop them from doing business with us, but they’ll have a very substantial tax when the send product into our country, and those numbers are so much bigger than any numbers we’re talking about, including child care, that it’s gonna take care. We’re gonna have . . . I look forward to having no deficits within a fairly short period of time, coupled with the reductions that I told you about, on waste and fraud and all of the other things that are going on in our country, because I have to stay with child care.”

and

“I want to stay with child care. But those numbers are small relative to the kind of economic numbers that I’m talking about, including growth. . . . But growth also headed up by ‘what’s the plan’ is . . . uhh . . . that I just told you about. We’re gonna be taking in trillions of dollars and, uh, as much as child care, uh, as talked about, is, relatively speaking, not very expensive compared to the kind of numbers we’ll be taking in.”  Decoded this means “We need to start brainwashing the kids to our points of view NOW before their brains fully develop!”

 

On Kamala Harris he said: “She destroyed the city of San Francisco. It’s — and I own a big building there. It’s — no — I shouldn’t talk about this. But that’s OK. I don’t give a damn because that’s what I’m doing. [cheers from crowd] I should say it’s the finest city in the world — telling ‘Get the hell out of there’ — right? But I can’t do that. I don’t care. You know. I lost billions . . . billions of dollars. You know? Somebody here . . . ‘What do you think you lost?’ I said, ‘Probably two-three billion.’ They said, ‘You think you’d do it again?’ And that’s the least of it. Nooobody [pause] . . . They always say . . . I don’t know if you know . . . [inaudible] Lincoln was horribly treated . . . Uhhh . . . Jefferson was pretty horribly . . . Andrew Jackson, they say, was the worst of all . . . that he was treated worse than any other president. And, I said, ‘do that study again,’ because I think there’s nobody close [laughter from crowd] to Trump. I even got shot. And who the hell knows where that came from, right?”
Translated from his gibberish this means “Kamala Harris should not be President, I should.”

 

“‘Silence of the Lamb’ [sic: the title of the movie is actually “Silence of the Lambs,” plural]. . . . Has anyone ever seen ‘The Silence of the Lamb’? The late, great Hannibal Lecter [a fictional killer and cannibal], is a wonderful man. He often times would have a friend for dinner. [slight laughter from crowd]. Remember the last thing? ‘Excuse me, I’m about to have a friend for dinner.’ And this poor doctor walks by, . . . ‘I’m about to have a friend for dinner,’ but Hannibal Lecter. Congratulations! The late, great Hannibal Lecter. . . . We have people . . . that are being released into our country, that we don’t want in our country . . . .”
Using my I-phone translator this means: “When grocery prices get too high just eat your neighbor.”

 

Trump declared the January 6th riots to be a “Day of Love.”
What he means is “Let’s do this again in every Democratic City in America until I control them all”.

 

Folks, let’s just hope that Donald is too stupid to make this all happen. In the meantime- PRAY! And hope that there truly is a God who is listening……