Just like the original Jesus on The Sermon On The Mount, the new Trump Jesus has his own version of the Beatitudes for the masses. Here it is for your own Holy Pleasure:
Blessed are the poor because they do all the work I have never had to do..
Blessed are single women for they are the fodder to my desires.
Blessed are young girls for the same reason as above, only easier to get.
Blessed are Obama and Biden for they are the scapegoats I use whenever things go wrong.
Blessed are the meek for they are easy to manipulate.
Blessed are the lost for they are easier to lead further astray.
Blessed are the gullible for with them I can build a whole political base.
Blessed are the poor because I can still manage to squeeze a few dollars out of them.
Blessed are the Republicans for they will always stand up for me no matter how much I screw up.
Blessed are the Democrats for by making them look bad I look good!
Blessed is Mike Johnson for he is fool enough to take a lot of the slings and arrows meant for me.
Blessed are the American Christians for they are so full of themselves that they think I am a Saint!
Blessed are the female virgins for they are like opening a fine champagne!
Male virgins- TOUGH LUCK!!!
Blessed are the American working class for their ignorance is the foundation of my Presidencies!
Blessed are blow-up sex dolls because you only pay for them once, are re-usable, don’t talk or talk back to you, don’t say “No!” to anything you want from them, can fit in a suitcase and they don’t give you venereal diseases.
Blessed are the Muslims for they give me a convenient target for a lot of what is wrong in the world and the U.S.
Blessed is Melania for she makes me look like a respectable President and married man……sort of……
Blessed are the Mexicans because there are so many of them sneaking into America that I can send millions of them back and look like a hero for it while still having enough of them around to have a constant supply of cheap labor available.
Blessed are the Europeans because they are so far away that I don’t have to deal with them so often.
Blessed is Putin because he is everything I want to be and so COMPLETELY dominates his country!
Blessed is Kim Jong Un for the same reason as Putin only in a poorer country.
Blessed are teen-aged girls because they look so inviting semi-dressed at my beauty pageants!
Blessed are the idiots because I can grift them like they were deaf and blind!
Blessed are the golf courses because they are the only exercise I get and the tax payers get the bill for them!
Blessed is God because I am HE!!!!!!!
____________
These genuine, original Trump Jesus Beatitudes are found ONLY in the God Ordained Official Trump Bible.
Get them before they run out!
This is one steal that God Himself approves of!