I left my cell phone home on a Saturday night and lived to tell the tale by 
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Some Interesting Lessons from Certain Twitter Types by I don’t doubt Jesus, but sometimes I wonder about his motives. What if that whole “messiah” thing was just Jesus telling his step-dad to fuck off with his carpentry business?
“Hey, Jesus, you wanna help me set up this sawhorse –”
“Shut up, Joseph. You’re not my real dad.”
*WCIT was Aramaic shorthand for “What Child is This?!” which is what the Galileans would shout whenever their kids gave them guff.
