Featured Writer Of The Month – March 2012

Bill Y Ledden

Bill Y Ledden is an amazing find for HO. His observations on human nature just make his readers laugh out loud. He truly shows us how insane the world can be!

Who is Bill Y Ledden?

I’m the son of my parents. My father was a bass guitar and my mother was the smell of freshly baked bread with an attitude problem. In an unusual move, I was born into this world wearing an ‘I hate love Bon Jovi’ t-shirt. This was unusual for a number of reasons, the most unusual being, Bon Jovi weren’t even a band in the 16th century. The bass guitar and smell of freshly baked bread with an attitude problem, took this as a sign that I was forced into this world for a reason. That reason: to convince the world that the so-called music of Bon Jovi is an insult to the music industry, a plague on the senses and anything but music. Since I was 6, I’ve had an imaginary friend, Sugartastic Daddy John, who has helped me in this quest. Sugartastic Daddy John has always been there for me as can be seen in this picture:

I met Jill Y at a rally for the prevention of cruelty to the English language. She was there with her apostrophe’s, comma’s and hyphen’s and I was there with my imaginary friend who went around unnoticed, the whole time. Sometimes you meet someone who claims to have an unflinching understanding of how magnets work. Jill Y continues to look for that person but I know they don’t exist. When you meet someone who doesn’t despise you, you better hold on to them and not let them run away so I locked her in the cupboard, held on tight and now we have a 7-year-old budding genius – Little Dill Y. When I look at him, I see all the qualities I don’t possess, such as intelligence, morality, a tolerance for Nuns, a tail and the ability to read question 5 of this interview.

Where do you get your inspiration for your work?

I don’t really see it as work. Work to me is praying to Hypnos, the Greek God of sleep for relief from this Bon Jovi infested world. The words come pretty easy and I know, they’re nowhere near as perfect as I want them to be but I’m a self-taught musician who has learned music by getting on a stage and learning how to dodge bottles of beer and I’ll do the same with writing words. It’s a fairly humbling experience, reading the work of the authors on HumorOutcasts because these guys know how to read and write and I’m like a Neanderthal gazing at the stars, trying to turn them off in a room full of writers whose hands are permanently on the switch. This is probably the right time to let you know that I’m metaphorically challenged.

Are the characters real and if they are, are they in jail or still in society?

Apart from the ones I’ve made up, they’re all real although I’ve changed their names to prevent the law from catching up with them. Thirsty Dave is a name I’ve given to Parched Dave but that’s something I’ll never tell anybody. Scurvy Jane doesn’t actually have a skin disease. She has a disease of the mind but again, that’s something I’m keeping to myself. Sugartastic Daddy John is my real imaginary friend, as mentioned before and Bon Jovi are a so-called band.

Does Bill Y live in a parallel universe or have a day job that does not involve writing?

I have a day job that involves writing. Each month I write my name on a cheque and the money goes unto to a smaller than miniscule bank account. Due to the official secrets act, I’m not allowed say what I do for a living but someone recently asked me if I was in fact Jon Bon Jovi. I never answered that question but deep down, I think she knows the answer.

Who are your favorite comics or humor writers if you have any?

I deliberately can’t read or understand the last question because I don’t want to. I tend to look for the absurd in everyday life and exaggerate to the point of ridiculousness. There is one British comedian – Stewart Lee, who writes intelligent, biting commentary like no other. He’s the guy who co-wrote the infamous Jerry Springer: The Opera but his stand up is in a class of it’s own and his delivery is second to none. If I could read and I can again, it’s a miracle! I would read Paulo Coelho and all of Boba Fett’s line from The Empire Strikes Back.

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