Santa Screws Jewish Kids On Christmas Once Again

Once again, for as many years as can be remembered, Santa Claus traveled the entire world in one night, spreading good cheer and leaving presents for good girls and boys, but did not deliver a single Christmas gift to a Jewish child.

Sad girl

The Anti-Defamation League has long recognized the slight, but has yet to place Santa on its list of top anti-Semitic offenders. ADL national director Abraham Foxman explains:

“Historically, it does appear that Santa, for whatever reason, seems to favor children of Christian families. “Judeo-Christian values” are frequently held up as being the ideal standard for living, but yet when it’s time for this mysterious fellow to fly around and reward children, the “Judeo” portion of that equation is curiously neglected. However, we have never had any reports of Santa actively harming any Jewish children and withholding gifts is not in itself a crime against humanity. It’s just kind of a dick move. Then again, it might be said that this constant neglect is just the kind of thing that builds the strong character of our people. So enjoy your iPads, bluetooth speakers, and headphones made by Dr. Dre. We have plenty of wooden tops to go around.”

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