4-year-old: What happens if I microwave 5 Barbies? Me: That’s an oddly specific question. 4: I already know what happens if I do it with 4
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 28, 2014
4-year-old: Do skeletons get cold without skin? Me: I don’t think the undead really care about that. 4: They should wear hats.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 28, 2014
My 2-year-old popped her balloon. Then she threw a fit when I got her a new balloon rather than fixing the old one. I’m a terrible father.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 28, 2014
4-year-old daughter: My friend said boys pee standing up. How can they do that? Me: A complex system of pulleys and levers.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 28, 2014
I caught my 4-year-old putting maple syrup on pizza. This proves what I’ve always feared: Her real dad is Canadian.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyr8D7T 4/4/14: pic.twitter.com/K9zYz1OoXx
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) September 20, 2014