4-year-old: Why are you always on Twitter? Me: I’m talking to my friends. 4-year-old: It’s OK. I have imaginary friends, too.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 5, 2014
Me: How many pieces of candy did you eat? 4-year-old: Two. Me: Why are there 65 wrappers in front of you? 4: Me: 4: They had babies.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 4, 2014
Me: What do you want on your sandwich? 2-year-old: Ketchup. Me: And? 2: Mustard. Me: And? 2: Batteries. I’m raising a robot.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 4, 2014
Me: You drew on the wall! 2-year-old: No, my teddy bear did. Me: 2: Me: 2: You should give him a timeout.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 4, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyr8D7T 4/11/14: pic.twitter.com/4RMV9Xa0pK
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) September 27, 2014