IBM Still Exists, Studies Farts
Be prepared for some Silliness.
IBM has been awarded a U.S. Department of Energy $ 4.5M grant to research a system for monitoring methane levels.
The article goes on to say IBM will work with Princeton and Harvard to develop “an intelligent multi-modal methane measurement system.”
Yeah, the old system was so antiquated. I think we called it NOSES.
Do Gooders point to beneficial aspects “technology to prevent revenue loss by helping businesses mitigate greenhouse gas emissions.”
Hell yeah, harness this stuff. Make it work. Set it up in all the Poughkeepsie nursing homes and you’ll power that city for years.
I guess IBM will now change their name to I’m Big on Methane. Big Blue to Big Brown. I’m not sure if their stock prices will go “poof” or explode. It hard to measure a fartometer.
Anyway, they’re building a better planet, where you’ll be measured not by the color of your skin but by the passing of your gas. On high methane alert days, the IBM monitors will tell you which restaurants to avoid and where not to fire up your crack pipe.
IBM: “I never promised you a Rose garden.”
IBM: “Not to be PC about this.”
Okay, we get it, IBM. Apple and Hewlett and Dell have turned you into an old fart. Monitor away.