Unicorn Action Committee Sues Starbuck’s for “Species Defamation” Over Unicorn Frappucino



New York, April 23, 2017 – A spokesbeast for the Unicorn Political Action Committee said in a press conference today that the super PAC has filed suit against Starbuck’s over its new “Unicorn Frappucino.”

“The Unicorn Frappucino paints our species in a very unfair light,” said Princess Trixie Sparklebutt, spokesbeast for UPAC. “First, the drink is sweet then turns sour. This suggests unicorns are devious and underhanded. Then, the drink turns purple. It’s bad enough when we’re portrayed inaccurately on childrens’ shows, now we have to be compared to that singing dinosaur?”

Sparklebutt went on to say the drink was problematic in other ways. “The name is very misleading. The only corn in this drink is corn syrup, which is another word for sugar. The unicorn community does not encourage unhealthy eating and drinking habits.”

UPAC’s lawyers have sent a cease-and-desist letter to Starbuck’s, asking that it immediately cease calling the drink a “Unicorn Frappucino.”

“We will not allow our species to be defamed by this sparkling nightmare,” said Sparklebutt. “We demand that Starbuck’s change the name, and to help them out, we have proposed other possible names. Due to the calorie count, they could call it the ‘Flabby Frappucino.'”

Starbuck’s could not be reached for comment. http://gty.im/459321400

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