Experts Rank Presidential Debate as “The Most Embarrassing Event in the History of the Universe”

A panel of 25 distinguished historians, assembled by the Rockefeller Foundation, has unanimously agreed that Tuesday night’s Presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joseph Biden was the most embarrassing event that has ever taken place anywhere, at any time. 

According to the panel, the debate was far more embarrassing than the event that came in second: Jersey Shore, the iconic reality TV series that ran for six seasons and featured a cast of humans that had been raised in the wild by promiscuous, sub-literate ferrets. 

The views of the historians were perhaps best summed up by Professor Flemming Grellen-Cork of Princeton University: “During the broadcast I received a text from a pile of fresh dog poop that had just been deposited on top of a toxic landfill in Bayonne, New Jersey.  The text simply said, ‘Watching this debate makes me feel dirty’.”

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