J. Lo and A-Rod End Engagement; National Search Begins for Someone Who Gives a S**t

Taking advantage of our nation’s ketchup shortage, President Joe Biden has bypassed Congress and tackled America’s epidemic of gun violence with an initiative he calls, “Season Your Fries with Life.” The program is straightforward: Turn […]
Immersed in an unsavory potpourri of allegations involving sexual impropriety, Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz resigned his position on Sunday as leader of Girl Scout Troop 171 in Pensacola. “I don’t want my current difficulties to […]
Oral arguments concerning compensation limits for college athletes came to an abrupt halt at the Supreme Court on Wednesday, following the disclosure by NCAA lawyer Seth Waxman that the sports behemoth intends to invade Poland […]
The dripping faucet of sexual charges against Governor Andrew Cuomo became a full-fledged, flushing bilge pump on Saturday, when State Attorney General Letitia James disclosed that she is investigating complaints filed by every adult female […]
Thanks to his unhinged performance when interacting with Dr. Anthony Fauci in a Senate hearing on Thursday, Rand Paul has advanced to “Wingnut Weekend,” the annual tournament sponsored by NIMH in which the four most […]
In a Monday morning posting on its website, the National Weather Service announced that the facial hair of Texas Senator Ted Cruz represents a significant fire hazard. “Think of the Senator’s beard as a tinderbox […]
Centers for Disease Control Director Rochelle Walensky planted herself firmly in the national hot seat on Wednesday when she endorsed the delivery — to low-income communities nationwide — of 43 million doses of a COVID […]
In a secret meeting facilitated by U. S. Secretary of State Anthony Blinken late Sunday night in Kabul, representatives of the Taliban and the Afghan government attempted to employ the game “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to […]
Alabama Governor Kay Ivey announced yesterday that only ugly residents of her state will be required to wear face masks after April 9th. “I believe this is a reasonable compromise,” said the Governor. “Encountering beauty […]