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Author: Mike Morris

I'm a retired professor of psychology (University of New Haven). I publish the satirical blog UNIVERSITY LIFE and actually look like the default profile picture that accompanies my posts on HumorOutcasts.

DeSantis Resigns as Florida Governor, Will Star in “Law & Order: EDU” on Hulu+

March 1, 2023 Mike Morris

“It was too good of an offer to pass up,” says Ron DeSantis, who announced on Tuesday that he would step down as governor of Florida on April 1st to take on the role of […]

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Fiction

Harvard and Yale Reveal How DeSantis, Cruz, Vance, and Rhodes Were Admitted to Their Law Schools

February 4, 2023 Mike Morris

For several years legal scholars have pondered a vexing question:  How did Ron DeSantis (Harvard), Ted Cruz (Harvard), J. D. Vance (Yale), and Oath Keepers founder Stewart Rhodes (Yale) — often referred to collectively as […]

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Fiction

FBI Finds Gutenberg Bible, Coca-Cola Formula, and Jimmy Hoffa in Trunk of Biden’s Corvette

January 24, 2023 Mike Morris

White House officials are scrambling to explain the presence of an original Gutenberg Bible, a document containing the secret formula for Coca-Cola, and the mummified remains of labor-union leader Jimmy Hoffa in the trunk of […]

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2 CommentsFiction

McCarthy Elected House Speaker After Agreeing To Have His Genitalia Removed

January 7, 2023 Mike Morris

Kevin McCarthy got what he wanted last night….but at what cost?  In a stunning concession to ultra-conservative Republicans, McCarthy allowed a team of urgent-care surgeons to remove his “man parts” in exchange for the crucial […]

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Representative-Elect Santos Denies That He Ever Claimed to Have a Penis, Asserting Instead That He is Only “Pen-ish”

December 30, 2022 Mike Morris

Serial liar George Santos, the Republican politician who recently admitted that he is not Jewish (just Jew-ish), has now acknowledged that a misunderstanding has arisen concerning his fondness for writing in longhand. “Yes, I am definitely […]

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Fiction

Arkansas Governor Bans Teaching of CRITICAL RICE THEORY in Public Schools

December 2, 2022 Mike Morris

In an executive decision yesterday that almost certainly will end up being debated in front of the U. S. Supreme Court, Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson jettisoned Critical Rice Theory from the curricula of every public […]

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House Republican Committee Will Investigate Promiscuity Charges Against Presidential Pooch

November 20, 2022 Mike Morris

“Hunter Biden is just the beginning,” Kentucky Republican James Comer announced Saturday at a press conference in the Capitol Building.  “Once our party assumes control of the House of Representatives in January, we will determine […]

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Fiction

Deputy Warden Rejects Steve Bannon as “Too Skeevy” for Incarceration at DC Central Detention Facility

October 24, 2022 Mike Morris

Trump advisor Steve Bannon may have been sentenced on Friday to four months in prison for disobeying a lawful subpoena, but none of that time will be served at Washington, DC’s Central Detention Facility (CDF), […]

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Putin Wins 2022 Nobel Prize for Being World’s Craziest White Man

October 10, 2022October 10, 2022 Mike Morris

On Sunday afternoon the Chair of the Nobel Prize Committee, Berit Reiss-Andersen, announced that the 2022 Nobel Prize for World’s Craziest White Man has been awarded to Russian President Vladimir Putin. The Award citation notes […]

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Princeton Uses NCAA Transfer Portal to Trade Nobel-Prize-Winning Professor to Clemson for Wide Receiver

October 2, 2022 Mike Morris

In the most dramatic instance to date of the NCAA’s transfer portal being deployed to allow athletes to switch schools without losing a year of eligibility, Princeton University has obtained star wide receiver Haydinnian Draybolt […]

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