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Author: Mike Morris

I'm a retired professor of psychology (University of New Haven). I publish the satirical blog UNIVERSITY LIFE and actually look like the default profile picture that accompanies my posts on HumorOutcasts.

Hegseth Vows to Defend “Straights of Hormuz” from LGBTQ Aggression

May 12, 2026 Mike Morris

A visibly intoxicated Pete Hegseth told Pentagon reporters on Monday that “there is no way we will let RuPaul and his radical rainbow coalition attack vessels carrying heterosexuals in the Straights of Hormuz.  This war is […]

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U.S./Iran Talks Are Put on Hold Following Disappearance of Trump’s Ouija Board

April 22, 2026 Mike Morris

President Donald J. Trump’s Ouija Board has gone missing, shutting down peace negotiations between the United States and Iran.  According to a White House source, “the President never makes an important strategic or tactical decision without first […]

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Fiction

JD Vance Will Run for Pope in 2028

April 19, 2026 Mike Morris

With the annexation of Vatican City by the Trump administration scheduled for next year, Vice President JD Vance announced on Saturday that he will run against Leo XIV for Pope in 2028.   “I had planned on […]

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Fiction

Beginning July 4th, Trump’s Signature Will Appear on All Babies Born to U. S. Citizens

April 6, 2026 Mike Morris

Undaunted by the Supreme Court’s questioning of the constitutionality of his Executive Order banning birthright citizenship, President Donald J. Trump is preparing Plan B: using his tattooed signature to give the Presidential seal of approval to all […]

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Fiction

Hegseth Mistakenly Attends “No Kings!” Rally, Thinking He Was Protesting MLK, Jr. Holiday

March 29, 2026 Mike Morris

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was red-faced on Saturday after showing up at a “No Kings!” demonstration in Washington, DC, waving a sign featuring a photo of Martin Luther King, Jr. wearing devil’s horns.  “I thought it […]

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Thousands Flee Pentagon After Hegseth’s Testosterone Level Triggers Smoke Alarm

March 5, 2026 Mike Morris

Several hundred Pentagon employees were injured on Wednesday afternoon as they ran from the building in a panic following the activation of a smoke alarm by Pete Hegseth’s sky-high testosterone level.   “It was a nightmare,” said […]

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Fiction

Trump Reveals Names, Dates, and Targets of Upcoming Military Campaigns

March 2, 2026 Mike Morris

With Operation Epic Fury in Iran fully underway, President Donald J. Trump announced on Sunday the remaining U. S. military attacks scheduled for 2026.  They include: APRIL 10 → Cuba: “Operation Who Can Stop Me?” MAY 1 → […]

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Prohibited from Showering with U. S. Women’s Hockey Team, Patel Celebrates with Men’s Squad

February 24, 2026 Mike Morris

Critics of FBI Director Kash Patel’s beer-chugging appearance in the locker room of the U. S. Men’s hockey team after their gold-medal victory over Canada on Sunday are eating a big slice of humble pie today.   According […]

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Fiction

Trump is Finally Named “Man of the Year” by KKK

February 9, 2026 Mike Morris

The only question is why it took so long.  On Saturday, the Ku Klux Klan announced that President Donald J. Trump will receive the organization’s Man of the Year award for 2026 in a March 1st public ceremony […]

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Fiction

ASPCA Will Establish Shelters Nationwide for Homeless Robot Dogs

February 7, 2026 Mike Morris

In a decision that took the animal-rights community by surprise on Friday, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) announced that it will build approximately 250 facilities across the country to provide shelter […]

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