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Author: Mike Morris

I'm a retired professor of psychology (University of New Haven). I publish the satirical blog UNIVERSITY LIFE and actually look like the default profile picture that accompanies my posts on HumorOutcasts.

Quid Pro Quo vs. Squid Pro Quo: What You Need to Know

October 30, 2019October 31, 2019 Mike Morris

Like a magician distracting you from his hand inside your underwear, President Trump’s flamboyant denials of a quid pro quo offered to Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky are intended to focus our attention on a sparkly […]

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Fiction

Don’t Fret Over Impeachment, Mr. President: Here’s the Kryptonite You REALLY Need to Worry About

October 10, 2019October 10, 2019 Mike Morris

Donald Trump has famously proclaimed that “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters.”  Now, with an impeachment investigation under way, pundits are wondering if […]

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1 CommentFiction

The Next New Thing: Interviewing as Colonoscopy

July 12, 2019July 12, 2019 Mike Morris

The 2019 Major League Baseball All-Star Game featured interviews with team members as they played their positions on the field.  Really.  No joke.  Oh, the possibilities. Nigel Raisinet, Principal Percussionist, New York Philharmonic, interviewed during […]

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Fiction

Mary and Joseph: The Parenting Years — Christian Broadcasting Network Series Concept

May 27, 2019May 28, 2019 Mike Morris

  Episode 1, Scene 1 Setting: A modest basement apartment in downtown Nazareth; the year is 8 A.D. Mary and Joseph are having lunch in the breakfast nook. Mary: “You know, it wouldn’t kill you […]

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Fiction

Interpreting Rejection Messages from The New Yorker: An Author’s Guide

April 22, 2019April 22, 2019 Mike Morris

Writing humor is hard.  Just ask Dostoyevsky.  Sure, he scored big with Crime and Punishment, but do you know how many copies of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Gulag were sold?  […]

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Fiction

One Toke Over the Unemployment Line, Sweet Jesus

April 4, 2019 Mike Morris

Estimates differ, but most experts predict that automation and robots will have eliminated all but a handful of jobs in the United States by 2075.  Somewhere between 50 and 300 paid positions will remain, most […]

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2 CommentsFiction

Forsake All Evil: Finding a Better Way to Unlock the Golden Doors of College

March 13, 2019March 13, 2019 Mike Morris

The saddest part of the breaking scandal involving the corruption of the admissions process at a number of elite colleges around the country is that it was all so unnecessary. An inspiring example of how […]

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4 CommentsFiction

The Wall: Problem Solved

March 6, 2019March 6, 2019 Mike Morris

Sometimes, national emergencies resolve themselves.  Such is the case with the immigration crisis that has obsessed our President for the past 4+ years.  It is now over.  What brought about this miracle? As reported by the […]

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2 CommentsFiction

Melania, What Are You Thinking?

February 27, 2019February 27, 2019 Mike Morris

I’ll admit it: Melania Trump’s stare gives me the willies. The frozen expression she frequently displays communicates the sangfroid of someone who has just bitten the head off of a live ferret and swallowed it […]

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Bert and Ernie: The Lost Interview

February 15, 2019February 15, 2019 Mike Morris

  Bert and Ernie: The Lost Interview Conspicuously absent in social media speculation surrounding the sexual orientation of Muppets Bert and Ernie is the fact that the famous pair were actually interviewed on this topic […]

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