In a stunning announcement yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control admitted that for the past three months its researchers, in their frenzied attempt to develop a vaccine, have mistakenly been using a 1977 photo of a disco ball from the Studio 54 nightclub in New York City as a model for the dreaded coronavirus.
How could this have happened?
According to CDC Director Robert Redfield, “a student intern in our Atlanta headquarters apparently photocopied an image of the ball from Rolling Stone magazine and gave it to our Vaccine Development Team as a practical joke. The Team accepted the photo in good faith and proceeded, for weeks on end, to go down one blind alley after another in their research efforts. They did manage to find a cure for the Bee Gees, Gloria Gaynor, and Saturday Night Fever, but discovered nothing that would protect people against COVID-19. Valuable time was lost, to be sure. I am so, so sorry.
“I can guarantee you that there is no way this intern will be returning to CDC in the fall.
“That’s the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.”