Tribute to Harry Caray (Chicago Cubs Announcer)

My Tribute to Harry Caray   (Chicago Cubs Announcer Back in the Day)      Written for a class assignment, write a one-page sentence.


“All right Steve, now this is one of your all time great, tension filled, bite your nails, sit on the edge of your seat, get yourself another Budweiser and drink it down quick, classical confrontations, pitting Chicago’s wonder boy, Ryne Sandberg, that twenty four year old heart throb originally from St. Louis, or possibly Kansas City, I’m not really sure, I’ll just have to wait till the fine gentlemen to the right of me–everyone who works for WGN, channel nine in Chicago, is a fine gentlemen, but this gentleman, Mr. Jack Ponte of Downers Grove, is one of the finest–I’ll just have to wait until he finds out and tells me which city it actually is; however, I do know that that man standing at the plate, gripping the bat as tightly as he can, drops of perspiration beading on his forehead, and a look of determination on his face, that man, who also has an absolutely wonderful physique and is really a fine looking, handsome young boy–I’m sorry ladies, but I know for a fact that Ryne is happily married with two children at home with another one on the way–is in my consideration, an opinion based on well over twenty years of direct involvement with the game, the leading candidate for the most valuable player award in the National League, though I should also mention that I think Ryno, which is pronounced owner if spelled backwards, is the best player in the entire majors, that man is your ultimate clutch hitter, batting nine for eighteen when there are two runners on base, giving him a five hundred batting average, which if kept up over an entire season, would give him the highest batting average of all time; and what’s more, with two men in scoring position, against lefty pitchers, at home, in the sixth, seventh, eighth, or ninth innings, on weekends, Ryno’s batting a whopping seven for ten, or seven hundred, statistics which are somewhat ridiculous, I know, but heck, I enjoy providing them for you for you folks at home immensely; and even if what I say borders on strange, at least I don’t smoke cheap, smelly cigars, not like Stevie here, (who happens to get these smelly cigars free of charge); but  aside from his awful, foul, disgusting, repulsive habit, Steve is a very likeable young man, just like Ryno, our hero, who is pitted against, getting back to the battle, MarkThurmond, or Kram Dnomruth spelled backward, a great fastball pitcher with a tantalizing curve and other off-speed stuff, a pitcher who really bears down when the bases are loaded, especially when there are two outs, such as now, but maybe not for much longer cause here’s the pitch, which came after three minutes of stalling, and I for one am glad baseball is such a slow game, because I like to talk.”


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