Hippies, gays, forever pot-heads, librarians and social workers assembled there to protest against Fuhrer Trump and his toadies. They had anti-Trump posters and T shirts and ranted leftist slogans, pumped fists in the air and sang songs of protest. And that was about it.

They did exchange telephone numbers and email addresses, sipped lattes and herbal teas, shared samosas and vegan soup, chatted about the economy, how dumb Trump was, how grocery prices were ridiculous and how Bruce Springsteen was going to be playing in Philly next week. Somehow they weren’t really being violent enough for the reputation that had been put upon them.

But it was enough for The Donald! Upon awakening and seeing the throngs on HIS front lawn (he had to do a LOT of cheating, lying and cajoling to get back to where he belonged- on the Presidential Throne!) No one was going to take that away from him! And no one ever will again! He felt HE was the right heir to the throne! He also knew that it might be the only thing that could keep him out of prison. He also was 78 years old and felt he HAD to rant about people being on his lawn.

He immediately called the head of the National Guard stationed in D.C. “Irving! Where are you???? I got thousands of Criminal Lefties here outside my place ready to crucify me! Where are you and the boys?”

“We are still at base camp, Sir. I have spoken with and observed the dissenters and they are being peaceful and not committing any acts of violence or destruction, Sir.”

Trump was taken aback by this and roared, “What the hell are you saying Johnson! These savages are capable of tearing the place up and killing us. Don’t you remember what my boys did when they got liquored up and I sicced them on The Capitol? What did I bring you and the guys up here for anyway? To play tiddly winks with them? I brought you joes up here to stove in their privates just for being here! Go get ‘em! Sic them! Be as rabid as you need to be!”

“Well Sir……um……I would be happy to do that but the D.C. police have made a barrier and are standing between us and them!”

“WHAT???!!!” roared Trump into the phone.

Irving paused a moment to gather something to say and give his poor ear a chance to recover. “Sir, the D.C. police have told me they are tired of us taking charge and they are united in protecting the protesters. They have made a solid line of defense keeping us from going after the protesters. They are supporting them, Sir…….”

Trump then issued a number of expletives that cannot be written here for fear of this piece getting deleted and after a moment’s frazzled silence hissed “Those traitors! I should have them hung like the British did to Nathan Hale! How dare they! I shall have them shot for insubordination!” Irving could hear him shouting to someone else in his area- “Bondi! Get me the Marine Corps General on the line! I want him to send his troops in to take down the D.C. police! Tell him to use live ammunition!”

Coming back to Irving he shouted “Look Mr. National Guard pansy- have your men put bayonets on and charge the D.C. police! If you don’t, those protesters will use their Liberal violence to take over this town, ravage and ransack the White House and do God knows what to Melania and Ivanka! Or to me! Get your butt going!”

“Yes Sir…..” whimpered Irving without a lot of enthusiasm. He faced his sub commanders and depressedly said “Okay men, bayonet your rifles and lets get going. We have protesters to rouse…”

“Bayonets? What do you think we are, in Fort Apache fighting the Indians? We don’t have any bayonets Sir!”

“Oh, that’s right. Well just do the best you can. Charge them!”

“Charge the D.C. Police?”

“Yes, just like they did on January 6th.”

“Sir, with all due respect, that is ridiculous. And these protesters aren’t doing any harm.”

“They are trespassing! This is government property!”

“So is Trump, if you really want to know!”

“Oh, I give up! Just do whatever you want! I’ve had enough of this BS!”

“OK guys! Lets lay down our guns and go join the protesters! They got cake and espressos!”

Cut to the ‘violent Left Wing Loonies’ on the White House lawn.

“Ah! Welcome Brothers!”stated Harvey Bloomington to the weaponless National Guard soldiers coming up. “Have some mocha and help yourself to the whole grain organic cinnamon rolls on the table!” Glad you came to join us!”

Asked one Guard “Hey, where can I take a dump here?”

Harvey pointed toward the back Rose Garden. “Just go back there and do it on the paved portion of what used to be the grassy part. Here are some napkins.”

“Ahh, thanks!” He leaves.

“I am so glad you came around to your senses.” stated Harvey.

“No problem man! I’ve already made enough overtime and this cleaning up trash thing is getting real old. I think I’ll just go AWOL ’cause I have had enough. I am bored out of my skull walking around and having people ignore us or call us Storm Troopers. I am ready for a change!”

“Well you got that right here!” Have some tofu turkey!”

“Thanks!”

Suddenly there was a loud voice from the roof of the White House. Donald was up there again and made sure that he was in the camera angles. He ranted into a megaphone “You men who are joining the Communist Lefties there should be ashamed of yourselves! They are violent traitors who are out to destroy our country. Go back to your barracks now. Otherwise I will have you all jailed for treason and desertion! Do what I say NOW! I am President here! You HAVE to listen to me!”

Bailey, the platoon leader, looked over to one of his men and asked “John, do you think you could lob a stun grenade right where he is at?

John looks judgingly at the rooftop for a moment and says “Yeah, I think I can hack that!”

He pulls a grenade off his waist belt, determines the arch and distance of the throw, cocks his arm, pulls the pin and throws. It arcs high and comes down right at the President’s feet. There is a mild explosion knocking Trump back and another person sailing down into the rose bushes.

“Damn John! You got the Predator and Steve Miller!”

“ Looks like Donald is having a hard time getting his bulk up off the ground. Is Miller OK?”

“Yeah! He just can’t tell what hurts more- the blast or the thorns on the rose bushes.”

“You know- we could get court marshaled for this…..”

“Court marshaled by the guy who avoided the draft five times? I’m not too worried…..”

And the party got wilder…….