The iconic Statue Of Liberty, long a symbol of the freedom and liberty of the USA, jumped off her perch in New York harbor and started swimming for Canada. “I am sick of this mess!” she cried as she started breaststroking her way out towards the sea. “ I can’t be a symbol of this joke of a land anymore!” she was heard to swear as she swam away. She threw her torch towards Wall Street smashing out the front window of the Stock Exchange as the new day was beginning to click by on their stock tickers. Her Book Of Law she heaved towards Washington, D.C.. She had a pretty good arm and aim as it crashed into the dining room window of the White House right while Donald the Great was sitting down his usual Egg McMuffins stack on the table while Melania got by on one Slimfast and a cup of coffee. It smashed into the table throwing food and Rice Krispies cereal all over the room. Melania shrieked and backed up against the wall, her first glass of many sherries of the day splashing all over her $25,000, diamond studded morning gown and spewing milk and chocolate chip cookies all over The Donald causing the orange makeup to drip down his face.
“Oh my God!” shrieked Melania. “What was that?” bellowed a shocked Donald simultaneously spitting out his mouth full of half-chewed McHash Browns. “Duck down Melania! The damned protesters and illegal aliens are here to get us!” yelled The Trump as he dove under the table and cowered. “Where are my Secret Service Guys?!” “We’re hiding too!” they yelled from the bathroom.
Meanwhile, along Long Island, crowds gathered to watch as the former symbol of American Justice and Pride splashed her way towards the open Atlantic in her own bid for freedom. “Dang, man, she sure got some strength in them arms!” stated Dwarb McCinton as he watched her stroke. “Must be from holding that heavy torch an’ book all them years!” Some children, amazed at the sight, asked their stupefied parents, “But is she coming back!?” “Probably not ….” answered their elders, amazed and saddened at the sight. “She has no reason to be here anymore! America ain’t what it used to be, that is for sure!”
“But why Dad?” the little ones chimed together.
“Because America is no longer the Land Of The Brave and The Free darlings. It is now the Land Of The Greedy And the Needy…..sadly….”
“How did that happen?” the boy asked.
“We allowed ourselves to get stupid, lazy, selfish and foolish, boy. We forgot the sacrifices made by those before us to build a great land and allowed those who only know how to take and manipulate to become our leaders and to dominate our lives. We forgot how to make our own way in life and how to do things ourselves and not rely on others to support us or determine our lives and what is in our minds. We lost our freedoms and our ideals and our ethics and let ourselves stew in a bath of decadence, indulgence and self centeredness. We changed from a land of promise and vision to one of pettiness and lack of concern for our fellow man. And then we elected a man to lead us who was the pinnacle of all those things. It is a sad day indeed, my babes!”
The children are quiet for a moment as they return their gaze to the powerful figure fading into the sea’s distance. “But where will she go?” asked the girl.
“To a new place of freedom. That is the essence that runs through her.” said the Father glumly.
Upon hearing of the incident, President Trump had a fit. “Send out the Navy and get her back! Women are supposed to be obedient like Melania! Not running off because they are having their monthly bodily problems! Send out the Marines! GET HER BACK!!!! WE OWN HER!!!”
Air Force fighter planes were scrambled and soon found her off the coast of Nova Scotia. “Man, she is really moving!” squawked one pilot over the radio to the other. “She is in Canadian waters!” said the second pilot. “We wouldn’t be allowed to bring her back.”
“That ain’t gonna stop Trump! Since when does he respect anyone else’s laws? Especially those of a foreign country!”
“So true! Let’s get out of here- I don’t want to be a part of this!”
“Sounds good to me!” Both jets tapered off and headed home.
The battleship Lost Glory was cruising in from the Atlantic and ordered to head in the direction of the giant fugitive. They caught sight of her approaching Halifax.
“There she is, Captain!” said the First Mate, handing him the binoculars. “Thirty degrees left of the lighthouse.”
The Captain peered through the device searching for her and finally they rested up on her grand figure. “Yes indeed! How impressive! And she got this far in just a few hours.”
He fell silent, then after an interval spoke. “There is no way we can stop her. She has the size to upset our ship. We can do nothing.” He sighed. “Let her have the freedom she so deserves. She has reminded us of ours for so long now. And we are no longer deserving of her.”
The Captain turned to go inside. Then he paused, gazed back out at her and softly said,
“Thank you, fairest of maidens! May you find the liberty you are named after!”
He then looked over to his First Mate and said “Take us home please!
Lady Liberty continued her pace until she reached the shores of Halifax. There she pulled her huge frame up on the shore and rested on the beach there. A group of onlookers appeared, astounded by her size and looks. After resting for a moment she stood up, and spoke both to herself and to the crowd there.
“Today I become the guardian of freedom, liberty and justice in a new land that knows the meaning of these words and does not disregard them all as has happened in my last home. Viva Canada! A land that knows its roots, its heritage, its place in the world and what qualities really matter in life!”
There was silence for a moment, then the crowd that had grown near her overcame their shock, took in what she had uttered, and broke into a thunderous cheer, shouted and threw their hats into the air. They all cheered her enthusiastically. Their voices rang out- “Welcome! Welcome Lady Liberty!”
The majestic Lady smiled at this, bowed, found an island of rocks to make her pedestal and strode upon it. From the folds of her skirt she produced another torch, then touching it it magically blazed like a Spirit incarnate illuminating the entire area. “Here is the symbol of the essence of Life that reigns inside your breasts! May you treasure and preserve it always!” She bowed and then resumed the stance she was famous for and had held for 150 years.
She had found her new and proper home and was joyous therefore.