Doug Collins, Secretary of the U. S Department of Veterans Affairs, announced on Saturday that the agency will reduce its workforce from over 450,000 to 5 by June 1st.
“We are confident this goal can be achieved without compromising the quality of services to our veterans,” said Collins. “In fact, we plan to leverage ChatGPT and other AI technology in a fashion that will actually allow us to enhance our responsiveness to the needs of the men and women who rely on us.
“The VA employee roster on June 1st will include myself, a secretary/receptionist, one staff member assigned to veterans whose last names begin with A through L, another staffer responsible for M through Z, and a ‘roaming’ suicide-hotline trainee who will work with patients and former employees suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
“The era of infantilizing veterans with unnecessary programs and interventions that breed dependency and weakness has come to an end. The Age of the Resurrected United States Warrior — helmeted, breathing fire, and itching for armed combat — has arrived!”