With Trump In Power The Guillotine Business Is Going Gangbusters!
The guillotine business is alive and kickin’ after centuries of stagnation! Since Trump’s election sales of guillotines have arced higher and higher as his administration gets deeper and deeper into its plans for America. Stocks in guillotine companies such as The Razor’s Edge, Cutting Competition, A Clean Shave, Hack Job, and Single Bladed Wonder have been climbing steadily providing investors with a lucrative new market to explore.
Speculation has been that the market will continue to climb in the next four years depending largely (it appears) upon Trump’s policies and his continues use of billionaires to replace his MAGA minions as his chief means of support. Most sales seem to going to Democratic and Liberal groups and individuals, although strong growth is also being seen in laid off government employees, labor unions, aid groups and senior citizens on Medicare and Social Security benefits. There also seems to be small markets in the poultry business and in watermelon slicing concerns.
Interestingly, the most popular model seems to be the Americanized, silent running Gillette Quick Slice version which is considered more humane A’la Joseph-Ignace Guillotin, a French politician and doctor who intended it to be a more humane way of execution when he introduced it in France back in 1789. The original name of it was ‘louisette’ after the inventor French surgeon and physiologist Antoine Louis. It soon became known in the French underworld as ‘the Widow’. Second in sales is the French version used in the Terror (with Marie Antoinette as one of its customers) that is more basic and horrifying, but effective. It also comes complete with a receiving basket made from top notch organic rush leaves.
“Also, the French tariffs on importing these things are horrendous!”