Relative Perfection

According to a recent poll of women by Austin Reed, a British-based luxury tailor for men’s clothes, there are 30 characteristics they rated that would make the perfect man.  Here’s how they were listed.

1. 6 feet tall
2. Toned and athletic
3. Brown eyes
4. Short dark hair
5. Smart dress sense
6. Beer drinker
7. Non-smoker
8. Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper
9. Gets ready in 17 minutes
10. Stylish
11. Wants a family
12. Earns £48,000 ($77,000) a year
13. Loves shopping
14. Eats meat
15. Clean shaven
16. Smooth chest
17. Watches soaps
18. Enjoys watching football
19. Drives an Audi
20. Educated to degree level
21. Earns more than his other half
22. Jokes around and has a laugh
23. Sensitive when his wife/girlfriend is upset
24. Says ‘I love you’ only when he means it
25. Admits it when he looks at other women
26. Has a driver’s license
27. Can swim
28. Can ride a bike
29. Can change a tire
30. Calls mom regularly

SOURCE

Of the 30 characteristics, I am slightly above average owning 16 of them – IF I am totally honest about #23 – being sensitive when my wife is upset.  I could earn extra credit too if I used JUST FOR MEN® religiously to accommodate #4 – short dark hair.  “Dark” being the key word.

Some of these you would expect from a woman’s Adonis perspective, which unsurprisingly makes up the top 5 categories.  My qualifications skip past those and begin at #6.

Some are no-brainers too for most men like beer drinker, meat eater, enjoys watching football and most likely items #25 through 29.  But the one most men are adept at is #9, getting ready in 17 minutes.  In fact for some of us, this is a snail’s pace.  Depending on the occasion and location, 17 seconds is all most of us need to get ready.  I’m not sure why this is an important factor for women though.  It’s not like they’re going to be waiting on us to get ready in time for that dinner party.  Seventeen minutes is a fraction of the time they take deciding what they want to wear, initially.  I usually don’t shower, shave and dress until my wife is ready to leave the house in the next 15 minutes.

And I’m suspicious about #25 – admitting when we look at other women.  This sounds like a trap fellas so use your own judgment here.  Know thy female companion and tread lightly.

Let’s face it though.  This is not a scientific poll.  The Austin Reed site doesn’t even mention the poll on it’s home page.  I suspect also that some PR person connected to Austin Reed got this “survey” out into the blogosphere for commercial reasons in lieu of attracting curious on-lookers like me to click on their website.  If it is genuine – and there’s no reason to think it’s not – I suspect the target population for this was the 20 to 35 age range.  Considering the source, I’m sure they were primarily British too.  Hardly a group that would objectively reflect on older men like myself.

It would interesting to see what the women of the baby boom generation consider qualities of the so-called perfect man to be.  I’m sure things like hair of any kind (on the scalp of course), a sufficient retirement portfolio and the ability to ambulate without  the need of artificial devises would be in that list.  But if none like that can be found they might simply settle for someone who doesn’t pass gas in public, remembers anniversaries (if they remember anything at all) and does some house chores without being asked.   We’re a generation with simple needs and wants at this age.