The World’s Oldest Profession? | HumorOutcasts

The World’s Oldest Profession?

August 16, 2016
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Do you realize how special you are? There are no copies of you. You are an original creation. You are one of a kind.  You are a masterpiece. There isn’t anything you cannot do.

Words from Sunday morning? Part of a politician’s stump speech? The latest hyperbole from a self-help guru? Take your pick.

It has been said that the world’s oldest profession is prostitution. To paraphrase George Carlin, I’ve never understood why it is illegal to sell something that is perfectly legal to give away. Moreover, I would only add that at least a prostitute is honest about what she is selling.

I’m not sure I can say the same thing about the purveyors of “hope.” Now there’s a type of business that goes back a long way too. Anytime somebody starts telling you that you are special, you can bet that what follows will be a subliminal sales pitch for you to make a donation, accept a policy, or buy a book to take some of that “feel good dung” home.

At worst, these marketing tactics target the bereaved who are searching for peace and solace in their lives. On a wider scale, as a society, we are addicted to the idea of finding an easy path to self-fulfillment and achievement. Along the way to these often abstract goals we need constant validation and inspiration. Evidence of this is the endless barrage of feel good quotes and clichés which inundate our timelines on social media.

I understand the importance of being positive. I am also able to appreciate a business leader offering genuine insights and guidelines into a given marketplace.

What I don’t like is playing on people’s insecurities and raising their hopes and dreams to butter them up before selling them a bill of goods.

You make your own luck.

Make today count.

Unlock the inner you.

There you go, there’s several free of charge. Maybe I should start selling a really good swift kick in the ass? Only $19.95!

It seems to me that is what everybody really needs.

Billy Dees

Billy Dees enjoys science, news, and pop culture and is always ready for a great conversation. He is an editorialist, voice-over man, and overall creative type.

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6 Responses to The World’s Oldest Profession?

  1. August 17, 2016 at 6:52 am

    I am a big believer in optimism and hope and making your own luck and all that stuff. I am not a believer in “Don’t get your hopes up” mentality. I think if you go into a situation with a negative mindset, you just keep getting more of the same. Nice post! Always humor with a good amount of thinking attached.

    • August 17, 2016 at 11:50 am

      Hope and optimism is fabulous. Agreed. What I don’t like is hope and optimism being used as sales tools or methods of persuasion.

  2. Bill Spencer
    August 17, 2016 at 5:45 am

    But there IS hope, Billy. Even if you’re hopelessly addicted to the Hokey Pokey, you can turn yourself around.

    • August 17, 2016 at 11:51 am

      If it helps you can put your hands in the air like you just don’t care.

  3. August 17, 2016 at 1:47 am

    I’ve never been a fan of this idea that if you just feel good about yourself, everything will fall into your lap. On the other hand, feeling bad about yourself doesn’t help much either … “make your own luck” may be the best advice ever.

    • August 17, 2016 at 11:54 am

      Make your own luck is great advice I just don’t want to hear the sales pitch about how to do it.



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