Hug A Zucchini — It’s World Vegan Day! | HumorOutcasts

Hug A Zucchini — It’s World Vegan Day!

November 1, 2017
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It’s World Vegan Day!

I was wondering how my friends and family were planning to observe this momentous day, so I posted this query on my Facebook page: November First is World Vegan Day. What Do You Plan To Do About It?

Moments later, I had my first responses:

Not a damn thing.

Nothing. But I’ll feel guilty about it. 

Hug a zucchini?  

I’m guessing HAVE A CHEESESTEAK is not the appropriate response?

Is left-over Halloween candy vegan?  

These comments left me smiling, but also a bit concerned. Did none of my friends care about their health, or about the health of the planet?  I was soon  reassured:

For me, every day is Vegan Day. That’s just how I eat, for many reasons.   

Since heart disease, cancer and Alzheimers have been linked to the consumption of animal fat — and a can of beans has never killed anyone – I’m going to continue with the delicious, nutritious fat-free diet which has eliminated my need to take statins to reduce cholesterol.  

My husband, a former chorizo-loving foodie, has been an unlikely vegan for 7 months. He has substantially lowered his blood pressure and cholesterol and has lost 16 pounds eating huge portions of potatoes, kale and quinoa. We plan to observe WVD by arranging his lentils in a Zentangle pattern.  

After which, more Carnivores spoke up:

For World Vegan Day? I plan to eat a bacon double cheeseburger. With a side of chicken tenders. That way I have all three of the meats covered and show my support for the dairy industry as well. 

I’m going to eat steak. 

I’m going to eat bacon. 

I’m going to serve filet mignon to both my Bichons. 

Members of Team Vegan spoke up too:

I’ll eat Vegan, of course!  Real food — no animals — feels cleanest. 

I will live and let live. 

I’ve been vegan for a year, for the animals. It feels great.

I heard from folks who weren’t Vegans, but were Team Vegan Supporters:

It really should be APPRECIATE A VEGAN DAY — vegans are  healthier (so they cost the medical system less money) and have less negative impact on our planet than the rest of us.

I’m going to donate to the Humane Eating Project.

I also heard from A Carnivore with a Conscience:

I’m going to wish that I could be a vegetarian and feel a pit in my stomach when I know how cruel we are to animals. (Then I’ll probably have a chicken sandwich.) 

And, of course, I continued to hear from the Carnivorous Clowns:

On World Vegan Day? I plan to eat a vegan, with a nice chianti and fava beans.  

I’m going to throw myself on the first hamburger I see, so as to protect my vegan buddies from its insidious influence. 

I’d go for vegan kebobs, but you’ve got to catch a couple of vegans first, and they’re slippery. 

Vegans Can Be Jokers Too:

In honor of World Vegan Day, I promise to eat all the radishes in the bottom of the vegetable drawer in the fridge. 

Meh… I’m not up for anything, really. Think I’ll just veg out. J 

My most far flung response was from my pal Suzanne, a travel writer, who wrote, from South Africa:

I might give being a vegan a try. Being here is putting me off meat. We visited an ostrich farm yesterday. Dinner last night? Ostrich! (I chowed down on the veggies — thank you very much.) I’ve also been passing up warthog steaks on a regular basis. 

Given a choice between vegetables and warthog, I’m guessing that even the most avid members of Team Carnivore might Choose The Zucchini.

I love all my friends, both vegan and carnivore, but I can’t help but realize that if I pose this question again 20 years from now, statistically, more of my vegan than meat-eating pals will still be around to answer it. (And the more my friends go vegan, the better for Planet Earth as well.)

Me? I’m going to try to go Vegan For A Day. Wish me luck!

(What are you doing for World Vegan Day? Share your thoughts in the Comments Section!)

(Roz Warren  is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor  and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library , both of which you should buy immediately.)

Roz Warren

Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from The New York Times to The Funny Times, is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library: An Insider’s Tales of Library Life, both of which you should buy immediately.

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2 Responses to Hug A Zucchini — It’s World Vegan Day!

  1. November 7, 2017 at 6:00 am

    What great responses you got, Roz. I tried eating vegan for a few weeks and felt okay. I went back to meat in moderation and actually feel better. I think it’s in my genes to be a carnivore.

  2. Ben Alper
    November 1, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    I haven’t the vagast idea.



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