It’s World Vegan Day! I was wondering how my friends and family were planning to observe this momentous day, so I posted this query on my Facebook page: November First is World Vegan Day. What […]
Bon Jovi are to music what the Star Wars prequels are to movies. Jill Y and I were recently at a party. We were eating like pigs. In fact we were eating pig when some vegans […]
I ate an entire cake, but it was vanilla instead of chocolate so I’m counting it as a diet food. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 3, 2014 Me: Like my parachute pants? Wife: I […]
Whenever I see a sign that says, “300 days without an accident,” I don’t feel safe. I just wonder what the hell happened 300 days ago. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2013 […]
© 2013 The Monkey Bellhop and John Hartnett
I’ve never hung up garlic to ward off vampires, but I’ve been known to leave beef jerky lying around to scare away vegans. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 27, 2013 Me: “Did you […]
Announcer: “This is not a drill” Me: “Then what is it? A hammer or a saw?” *goes for a high five* *is left hanging* *dies in a tornado* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October […]
If you want to piss off a vegan order 2 hamburgers & say you’re eating their share to keep up the beef averages. Also, make them pay.