Watching TV with the Opposite SEX

It’s a relaxing evening at home just right for watching a movie. I sit down with my wife on the loveseat and think how nice this is when our cat jumps up between us and […]

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Unicorn Bites 3/1/14

You’re officially an adult when you realize being honest and being polite are never the same thing. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 1, 2014 Wife: You didn’t notice my haircut Me: You didn’t notice mine […]

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Unicorn Bites 2/25/14

Wife: You’re the worst husband ever. Me: This is such an honor. Wife: It’s not a real award. Me: *pulls out acceptance speech* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 25, 2014 Ladies, your long, pedicured nails […]

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Unicorn Bites 2/18/14

Wife: Do you want this piece of cheese? I dropped it Me: Are you seriously offering me food off the floor? W: M: W: M: W: M:*eats it* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 18, 2014 […]

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Unicorn Bites 2/16/14

Wife: *cleans like crazy* Me: Calm down. It’s my mom coming over, not the pope. *my mom walks in with the pope* Wife: Mother fucker… — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 16, 2014 My 1-year-old figured […]

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