I must just look guilty. Judging by my many encounters with the authorities you’d think I was some kinda outlaw. But I’m one of the most law-abiding, upstanding citizens I know. Not that that’s any…
Prevaracaytin® Indications: When the facts give you a sick, sinking feeling, especially during sworn testimony, you may want to try Prevaracaytin®. Chronic use of Prevaracaytin® may make you tired and in need of arrest. If…
My father, usually a reasonable man, had an uneasy relationship with inanimate objects that crossed him. Once after banging his head on a car door frame, he beat the top of the car repeatedly with…
I don’t know who coined the expression “smooth sailing,” but I do know it wasn’t any sailor. I’ve been sailing four times, all paid lessons off Hilton Head Island when I was in my teens.…
Here are nine new anecdotes I submitted to Reader’s Digest that were not taken. Flush with Ingenuity Just as my ingenious friend finished lathering his hair with shampoo, the water went out, with not a…
Mosquitoes in the Mississippi Delta, where I lived for 25 years, were so bad that you’re not going to believe me when I tell you. They were so bad that when they covered the two…
I’ve been in love with the same woman for 45 years. Please don’t tell my wife. Actually, my wife knows. At the age of 15, I remember being mystified by classmates who acted gaga over…
When I walked in the door, my heart fell into my stomach. Not literally. That would be a condition known technically in medical circles as “death.” I wasn’t dead; I was just dying inside. Again,…
Back when I was a young, naive lad of 35, I embraced as my role model an author famed for his language-humor columns and books. He was doing what I loved—punning and word-playing—and, amazingly, he…
HURRICANE EARTHQUAKE TRUMP (Earthquake photo by Free Software Foundation) Bill SpencerBill Spencer's humor writing has been published by Funny Times, Narrative magazine, Reader's Digest, The Sun, The Inconsequential, Clever magazine, Defenestration,…
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