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Home-Cooked Turkey

November 20, 2017
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When I walked in the door, my heart fell into my stomach. Not literally. That would be a condition known technically in medical circles as “death.” I wasn’t dead; I was just dying inside. Again,…

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Role Model in Reverse

October 19, 2017
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Back when I was a young, naive lad of 35, I embraced as my role model an author famed for his language-humor columns and books. He was doing what I loved—punning and word-playing—and, amazingly, he…

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Disasters Come in Threes

September 21, 2017
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HURRICANE   EARTHQUAKE   TRUMP     (Earthquake photo by Free Software Foundation) Bill SpencerBill Spencer's humor writing has been published by Funny Times, Narrative magazine, Reader's Digest, The Sun, The Inconsequential, Clever magazine, Defenestration,…

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Human Sexuality 101

August 24, 2017
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I feel so fortunate that I got sexed in college. (Sorry, that should read “fortunate that I got Sex Ed in college.”) Yes, I got lucky. I took Human Sexuality 101 at Mercer University and…

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My Body & Organized Labor

July 26, 2017
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My body has unionized. Every year I’m presented with more and more demands. When I was young, I was able to exploit and abuse my body—make it work overtime without compensation. And I could make…

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Even More Anecdotes Not Taken

May 25, 2017
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Even More Anecdotes Not Taken

  This is my third post composed of anecdotes I submitted to Reader’s Digest that were not accepted for publication. Five new ones: Unclear on the Concept When I lived in Mississippi, the local news…

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New Name for the Far Wrong

April 19, 2017
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Extreme conservatives or those on the alt-wrong (I refuse to call them the alt-RIGHT) have settled on certain derogatory slang terms to describe Democrats, including butt-sore liberals, libtards, snowflakes, and cucks (this last term derived…

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No Exit

March 18, 2017
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And the #1 reason not to build a wall on the border with Mexico is . . . It would block one of our major routes of escape. Bill SpencerBill Spencer's humor writing has been…

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Habitat for (Oh, the) Humanity!

February 23, 2017
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In my idealistic, full-of-youthful-promise twenties, I decided to make the world a better place—by volunteering with Habitat for Humanity. I was determined to help create homes for deserving families. I just needed to learn in…

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Release the Kraken!

February 4, 2017
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Artwork by Eli Connaughton. Idea/text by Bill Spencer.

Eli Connaughton as artist website: http://www.chickenwisdom.com/

Eli Connaughton as writer website: http://www.eliconnaughton.com/

Eli Connaughton

Bill Spencer

Bill Spencer's humor writing has been published by Funny Times, Narrative magazine, Reader's Digest, The Sun, The Inconsequential, Clever magazine, Defenestration, The Short Humour Site, Hobo Pancakes, and Nuthouse. He has also published scholarly articles on the novels of Cormac McCarthy and is co-author of an unproduced screenplay, "Angel Pays a Visit." He lives in a cabin in the mountains of North Carolina with his wife, artist-poet Carolyn Elkins.

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