My Wife’s Death-Dealing Slippers
First off, I don’t at all mean to imply anything about the smell of my wife’s slippers. Don’t think for a second I’d stoop to implying, even in jest, that Carolyn’s slippers are so stinky […]
Author: Bill Spencer
Bill Spencer is author of the book Uranus Is Always Funny: Short Essays to Make You Laugh (Humor Outcasts Press 2020). His humor writing has been published by Funny Times, Narrative magazine, Reader's Digest, The Sun, The Inconsequential, Clever magazine, Defenestration, The Short Humour Site, Hobo Pancakes, and Nuthouse. He has also published scholarly articles on the novels of Cormac McCarthy and is co-author of an unproduced screenplay, "Angel Pays a Visit." He lives in a cabin in the mountains of North Carolina with his wife, artist-poet Carolyn Elkins.
Bad Reflexes
Back in the early 1970s, my father bought an old camper that we could electrify by plugging it in to a very long string of extension cords. If we joined all the cords correctly, the […]
Trump Is Lord Super PAC
Democrats need to honestly assess the results of the recent election. Republicans suppress the vote. Democrats work to get out the vote. Which worked better? Championing democracy obviously utterly failed. We have to admit it. […]
Soap Operas with Subtitles
A few weeks ago, the Wordle word was “manga,” which is a Japanese graphic novel. My wife had never heard of it, but I got it because I’ve several times seen that South Korean dramas […]
I Was a Fuller Brush Man
Daddy thought I needed a job, and he had been a traveling salesman himself in his youth, so when he saw the job ad in the newspaper, he urged me to apply. I now believe […]
When to Ignore Your Spouse
Long before she was my wife, Carolyn told me to stop bringing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to her in her office at lunch time even though she had been accepting them for a few […]
SnakeS in the HouSe
I currently cohabitate with a snake—and I don’t mean my wife. I don’t consider snakes as pets, and yet here we are, my wife, a large snake, and I all living in the same house. […]
What’s Under Bill’s Bed This Year?
You know that feeling you get when you throw a ball of wadded-up paper across a whole room, and it actually goes into the wastebasket? Or when you’re driving you make it through three yellow […]
Yard of the Month
While it’s true that in my family, I might be the least competitive, that’s like saying I’m the least publicity-seeking of the Kardashians. I still treasure the trophy I won in my 20s for beating […]