President Donald J. Trump has informed the United Nations that the planet currently known as “Earth” will become “Donaldia” on January 1, 2027.
“Our planet deserves a classier name,” the President asserted on Truth Social. “The word ‘earth’ evokes images of dirt, soil, and grubs. In contrast, ‘Donaldia’ pays tribute to a man — Donald J. Trump — who has done more for the world than anyone else in history, and that includes Jesus Christ. Don’t get me wrong. Jesus was a great guy, a really great guy. But he got himself crucified. Sorry, but that makes him a loser. I’ve never been crucified, and my doctors tell me that I’m the healthiest person they have ever seen. It’s amazing how healthy I am.”
Earth’s final day will be December 31, 2026.