Unicorn Bites 5/4/14

My stages of drunk: 1) I don’t feel buzzed. 2) I’m drunk, but I’ll pretend I’m not. 3) Fuck it. I’m wearing a kilt. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 4, 2014 Me: I DON’T HAVE […]

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Unicorn Bites 1/23/14

Me: I know everything. Ask me any question. 3-year-old: How do airplanes work? Me: Magic. Next question. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 23, 2014 I always knew I’d end up drunk in a gutter. I […]

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A New Challenge For A New Year

Last night Americans held a big party to celebrate the fact that their nation is now 2,014 years old. But today is the day we get serious and make our New Year’s Resolutions. One year […]

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Unicorn Bites 12/15/13

My daughter got a book about eating healthy from a McDonald’s Happy Meal. That’s kind of like getting a lecture on being nice from Al-Qaeda. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 15, 2013 My […]

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