Unicorn Bites 8/13/14

Sure, we have chemistry, honey. Your acidic personality dissolves my will to live. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 13, 2014 4-year-old: *slaps my face* Me: Ow! What was that for?! 4: It’s my secret handshake. […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 1/23/14

Me: I know everything. Ask me any question. 3-year-old: How do airplanes work? Me: Magic. Next question. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 23, 2014 I always knew I’d end up drunk in a gutter. I […]

Share this Post: